Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and groom the bearskin rug. LET’S GO!
MAN VS. WILD – 9:00PM (Discovery) Bear Grylls is back! BEAR! Oh, my darling Bear, you have been missed. It’s been months since I’ve watched you drink your own urine and dive naked into icy lakes for my amusement. “This… is just the energy I need!” Name me one other performer so willing to endure this kind of suffering for the camera. David Blaine is a daisy compared to Bear. Anyway, in tonight’s season premiere, Bear heads to Arizona and survives the blazing desert and frozen mountains. But he can survive the state’s lenient gun laws and nutjob vigilante border posses? That’s a bit dicier. Bear also eats a scorpion. Not Klaus Meine! He had an angel’s voice! ANTICIPATION: BEAR!
OUT OF THE WILD – 10:00PM (Discovery) Can’t get enough of people being stranded in remote places and being forced to eat live insects? Me neither. This new Discovery series features nine people dropped into the Venezuelan wilderness and trying to get back to civilization. Pfft. Amateurs. Bear can do that ALONE, if you don’t count the 50-man crew off camera. ANTICIPATION: HARD LIVING!
SINS AND SECRETS – 10:00PM (id) This new show takes a look at how terrible crimes can have a lasting impact in various communities. Your first case is a carjacking murder that rocked the citizens of Knoxville, TN. ANTICIPATION: SAD!
JERSEY SHORE – 10:00PM (MTV) Ronnie is sad because Sammi left him. But that’s nothing twenty shots of Patron and a triple kiss with two skanks at a club can’t easily remedy, right Ronnie? In fact, I think Ronnie began that recovery program even before he and his lady broke up, which shows great preparation on his part. ANTICIPATION: DUMB!
THE OFFICE – 9:00PM (NBC) If you love Rashida Jones (And why wouldn’t you? What are you, some kind of horrible person? Do you also hate sunshine?), you get a double dose with her resurfacing here at “The Office” and then again at 9:30 with her regular gig at “Parks & Recreation.” It could be the most pleasant hour of TV you watch all year. ANTICIPATION: RASHIDA!