Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and shop online for a new iguana. You’d be amazed at how easy cybershopping for reptiles has become. LET’S GO!
THE OFFICE – 9:00PM (NBC)
Erin and Andy try and keep their relationship a secret. Oh, that shouldn’t be a problem, given that you two flirt at Erin’s desk every episode, and considering everyone in the office saw Andy serenade Erin with a full freakin’ marching band that one time. That’s the cute thing about co-workers who sleep together. They always assume they can keep it on the DL. ANTICIPATION: HANKYPANKY!
PROJECT RUNWAY – 10:00PM (Lifetime)
Amy went down last week, and suddenly Jay isn’t the frontrunner I thought he was. That honor now belongs to… Seth Aaron. I think. Hard to believe. Could a heterosexual man actually win this show? What a moment that would be. All my life, heterosexual white males like myself have been held down, and told they can’t make it in the world. Well, we’ll show them! We’ll show them all! I REFUSE TO BE OPPRESSED ANY LONGER! We will take Seth Aaron’s well-constructed punk leather outfits and we will break the glass ceiling with them! Soon, we’ll have the Presidency! ANTICIPATION: CATTY!
NCAA TOURNAMENT – 7:00PM (CBS)
It took me a few hours last week to realize… there’s no Billy Packer this year! I forgot they dumped him! Tonight, the Ivy League upstarts of Cornell will try and take down top seed Kentucky. Can they do it? Will their miracle run continue? Well, I watched Kentucky play last week, and the answer to that question is… no. Not a chance in Hell. UK will tar the roof with them. ANTICIPATION: BEATDOWN!
MEAN GIRLS – 8:00PM (TBS)
See Lindsay Lohan back when she was attractive, talented, and had, shockingly, a somewhat down-to-earth appeal to her. That’s all gone now. But you can look back fondly on her unquestioned masterpiece: a second-rate remake of “Heathers,” with a touch of “Clueless” thrown in. ANTICIPATION: FETCH!
RANDY JACKSON PRESENTS: AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW – 10:00PM (MTV)
Tonight, all the crews must incorporate magic into their routines. MAGIC! PICK A DANCE! ANY DANCE! ANTICIPATION: SOMEHOW EVEN LAMER!