Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and run a numbers game from your basement. Sure, the lottery has bigger prizes. But where’s the sense of community, I ask you? LET’S GO!
OFF THE MAP – 10:00PM (ABC) The folks behind “Grey’s Anatomy” have a wildly original new show for you this evening. Yes, it has horny doctors, just like “Grey’s” and “Private Practice.” But these doctors are OUTSIDE! In a foreign country! Game: CHANGED. The South American setting allows for much more frequent shirt removal, and it also allows producers to indulge in liberal guilt over disadvantaged people from third world nations. That’s a win-win! Your hunk in charge tonight is Martin Henderson, last seen in “The Ring” telling Naomi Watts to not make copies of the killer videotape before she went ahead and did it anyway. What a stupid movie. ANTICIPATION: EXOTIC!
TOP CHEF ALL STARS – 10:00PM (Bravo – An NBC/Universal Network) Every “Top Chef” season features one contestant who ends up going way too far in the competition and annoys everyone else in the process because he or she is so clearly unqualified. And your interloper this season is… JAMIE. Congratulations, Jamie! You’re slow, and cowardly, and the only thing you know how to make is soup. That makes you public enemy #1. Tonight, the chefs have to catch a fish and cook it for dinner. Did the producers of this show learn nothing from Tony Bourdain’s show? Boat scenes are always death. ANTICIPATION: FISHY!
THE WILL: OUTRAGEOUS FINAL WISHES – 9:00PM (id) It’s an hourlong look at some of the stranger requests of dead people. The nice thing about their selfish and annoying demands is that you really don’t have to carry them out, because they’re dead. How will they know you didn’t build a cat museum? They won’t. Suckers. ANTICIPATION: CREEPY!
THE DEFENDERS – 10:00PM (CBS) After “Private Practice” scored big ratings with their special sexual assault episode, it was only a matter of time before other shows followed suit. So now it’s this show’s turn, and if there’s anyone you want handling the delicate subject matter of sexual assault, it’s Jim Belushi. The man oozes subtlety. ANTICIPATION: EXPLOITATIVE!
MODERN FAMILY – 9:00PM (ABC) Mary Lynn Rajskub guest stars as Mitchell’s old girlfriend. And man, that is the world’s hardest last name to spell. Worst Scrabble rack EVER. ANTICIPATION: RAJSKUB!