Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and up your Vicodin dosage. LET’S GO!
AMERICAN IDOL – 8:00PM (FOX) Here we go. “Idol” either rebounds this season or falls completely into the abyss. No more Simon. No more Ellen. No more… uh… what was that girl’s name? You know, the one who didn’t matter? Her name and face and personality and usefulness completely escape me. Oh well. No worries. Tonight producers unveil their newest judging panel, which includes Jennifer Lopez, who I presume demanded her seat be covered in rose petals and misted with Echinacea, and Steven Tyler, who is barely there at this point.
“Idol” people will tell you the show has always been about the singers and not the judges, but you and I know better, don’t we? It’s always been about the judges. And last year, the judges (including Simon) did an awful job of both identifying talent and calling out that talent when it was lousy. If “Idol” has any hope of avoiding the TV dustbin, the new judges better be candid, and they better seem genuinely interested in how this thing turns out. Also on hand will be Jimmy Iovine, the dude who runs Interscope and who will presumably be there to help the singers suck less. It’s a total overhaul, which is what this show needed. But if it turns out to have been done wrong, there won’t be a second overhauling. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
RETIRED AT 35 – 10:30PM (TVLand) TVLand has plotted an ingenious strategy by creating new sitcoms that have the look and feel of the very same old reruns they air for the rest of the day. So following “Hot in Cleveland” tonight will be this new show, which features a very sitcommy plot (dude moves into his parents retirement village), one very sitcommy dad (George Segal), and the incomparable Jessica Walter. Will it feel stale? If the network has its way, the answer to that will be a most definite yes. ANTICIPATION: RETRO!
JAMES ELLROY’S LA: CITY OF DEMONS – 10:00PM (ID) The legendary author hosts his own true crime docuseries. The first crime he profiles? The murder of his own mother. Holy smokes. This man really knows how to cut to the bone. There’s also this:
As he explores the L.A. underworld in City of Demons, technology-phobe Ellroy is accompanied onscreen by a computer-generated, talking bull terrier K-9 cop named Barko, whose personal quirks include dealing drugs and planting guns on suspects.
That’s either gonna be awesome or horrible. Not sure which. ANTICIPATION: ELLROY!
BLUE BLOODS – 10:00PM (CBS) CBS has moved this show off the weekend beat and placed it dead center in the middle of the week. And so the pendulum swings in Bridget Moynahan’s favor. Karma’s a beeyotch, Tom Brady! ANTICIPATION: MUSTACHES!
EXTRA VIRGIN – 10:00PM (Cooking) Actress Debi Mazar gets her own cooking show. Why? Well, I didn’t see you volunteering for the gig. ANTICIPATION: HEAT!