Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and give yourself a tax cut. Go ahead. You earned it, buddy. LET’S GO!
LA HOLIDAY CELEBRATION 2010 – 9:00PM (PBS) This holiday special includes a performance from Tia Carrere and a hip hop version of “A Christmas Carol.” I swear that’s what the guide says. Now tell me that doesn’t sound like the worst holiday special in history, even worse than the old “Star Wars” holiday special. They culled this show together from a six-hour performance last year at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. SIX HOURS! Six hours and Tia Carrere is a highlight?! Imagine being in that audience. I have to watch this, just to confirm all my worst fears. ANTICIPATION: TERRIFYING!
AMISH: OUT OF ORDER – 8:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal Network) A community of ex-Amish folk struggle with the transition to living in a modern society. What do you mean, they can’t wear bonnets anymore? And how do these crazy “electric horse buggies” work? I give them two weeks before they go into a full-blown Amish relapse and start raising barns and selling high quality meat products at a nearby farmstand. ANTICIPATION: AMISHNESS!
TOP CHEF ALL STARS – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal Network) Okay, so I’ve seen the first episode now, and I was delighted that it took Jennifer all of one challenge to go from supremely confident to an utter shambles of a human being. Record time for her! I still think Richard Blais is the favorite, given that he flagrantly broke the rules last week and all they did to punish him was tell him he wasn’t allowed to win even though his dish kicked everyone’s ass. And how about Mike Isabella getting all fat on us? He’s huge! He looks like he ate Mario Batali! Tonight, Joe Jonas drops in to give the chefs their challenge. OMG JOE! I HEART YOU! ANTICIPATION: CUTTHROAT!
HOOKERS: SAVED ON THE STRIP – 10:00PM (ID) Annie Lobert is helping prostitutes quit the sex trade and transition to a normal life in this new series. This episode’s subject is Regina, a Korean alcoholic hooker. And while I wish her nothing but the best, let’s face it: I‘m watching this show for the hookin’. ANTICIPATION: HOOKERS ARE PEOPLE TOO!
THE EIGHT-LIMBED BOY – 10:00PM (TLC) I would have preferred the title Spiderboy, but you can’t always get what you want. Join TLC as they profile a six-year-old Indian boy who has a parasitic twin. Delicious! ANTICIPATION: EIGHT LIMBS!