Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and forget to add the fabric softener. There’s a sock inside your t-shirt, but you won’t know that until you pull it out of your drawer three weeks from now. LET’S GO!
TOP CHEF – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) I apologize for giving you the wrong time for Top Chef last week. Those sneaky Bravo folks moved the show back to 10PM after “Work of Art” wrapped up. So now you have to wait another full hour for your food porn. NOT FAIR!
Last week, creepy Alex finally got the boot and we’re left with a final six of Angelo, Tiffany, Ed, Kelly, Kevin, and Cocaine Lady. I’d go ahead and assume Cocaine Lady is dead meat after this week, but shows like Top Chef always keep one unqualified contestant hanging around just long enough to drive you out of your freakin’ mind. Also, Angelo has absolutely collapsed. Perhaps it’s the result of new hair product. Either way, he’s folding just like Jennifer did at the end of last season, and he may not even make the final three at this rate. Suddenly, Tiffany is crushing everyone and winning four challenges in a row. And she’s so darn NICE! Kinda rooting for her to keep it up.
One thing before I move on. In defending the decision to oust Kenny two weeks ago, Tom Colicchio noted on his blog (quite testily) that judges only boot contestants based on individual challenges. He reiterated it 10 times. Now, this sounds like a good idea in theory, but in practice it’s really dumb. With Tom’s method, you could win 10 challenges in a row, then get booted the next week for an off day. Meanwhile, some idiot can come in second to last every week up to the finals and then win because they pulled some miracle dish out of a toque. Did you really just figure out the best chef if you did it that way? No. You gotta give the good ones a little leeway, Tom. ANTICIPATION: FIERY!
MAN VS. WILD – 9:00PM (Discovery) Secretly, I’ve always wondered if Bear Grylls would ever have something horrible happen to him while filming this show. I mean, he’s sleeping in trees and jumping into crevasses and all that. Surely, the law of averages would catch up to him at some point. Well, tonight it does, as a trip to the Rockies ends with Bear taken to the hospital. Uh-oh. That isn’t good. ANTICIPATION: DANGER!
AMERICAN GREED: MADOFF BEHIND BARS – 9:00PM (CNBC) See where the Ponzi schemer will spend the rest of his days. I’m sure the cell will be far too spacious and lacking in a serial killer cellmate for everyone’s taste. ANTICIPATION: DIRTBAG!
HARD KNOCKS – 10:00PM (HBO) Coach Rex Ryan cut down on the swearing last week. DUNGY!!!!!! And if you thought Antonio Cromartie had a hard time remembering the names of all his kids, wait till you watch him try and name all those children’s mothers. IMPOSSIBLE. ANTICIPATION: SWEARY!
TRADING PLACES – 8:00PM (WGN) Officer, may I suggest using a choke hold? ANTICIPATION: IT WAS THE DUKES! IT WAS THE DUKES!