Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home this weekend and curse yourself for not buying “Iron Man 2” tickets in advance. Stupid TV. There’s no Mickey Rourke with laser whips at home! LET’S GO!
SNL – 11:30PM Saturday (NBC) It’s the big Mother’s Day show hosted by Betty White and with musical guest Jay-Z. White, as you know, is hosting the show as a result of a massive Facebook campaign to encourage SNL to book her. This is what the Internet is good for: designating random people as suddenly hip and then pushing them back into the mainstream. It’s a cute story, except that White has been offered the hosting job at SNL several times and turned it down until she felt compelled by the Facebook campaign to finally relent. Expect 90 minutes of solid old-lady-saying-naughty-things jokes. It never gets old, I tell you. ANTICIPATION: WATCH IT WITH YOUR GRANDMA
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS – 8:00PM Friday (NBC) The most widely acclaimed show on TV survives for another new season and debuts tonight. This could be the last season for FNL. It ALWAYS could be the last season for FNL. But people love it so much, and watching a single episode is enough to make you understand why. I don’t watch this show nearly enough, and I feel tremendous guilt over that fact. Ever have those shows you haven’t seen for whatever reason and KNOW you should watch but simply haven’t had the time to get into? FNL is one of mine. “The Wire” is another. “The Shield” is a third. Ugh, I feel less than human now. ANTICIPATION: WATCH IT OR SOMEONE WILL NAG YOU TO
DEAD CALM – 8:00PM Friday (Weather Channel) What the? When did the Weather Channel start showing movies? What happened to the weather? Does the weather take Friday nights off? Does it go play blackjack in AC? I’m confused. By the way, this movie is awesome and I hope they don’t edit out the sex scene. Or, I hope they place a strategic LOVE STORM WATCH graphic on Nicole Kidman’s backside. ANTICIPATION: BABIES GOING THRU WINDSHIELDS!
BODACIOUS HOUSES – 10:00PM Friday (Fine Living) Complete with rad patios, gnarly dining alcoves, tubular bedroom chaises, and seven-car garages that are TO THE MAX! GAG ME WITH SPOON! All bodacious homes, I assume, are located in the Valley. ANTICIPATION: SHOWER SCUM IS GRODY!
JESSE STONE: NO REMORSE –9:00PM Sunday (CBS) Tom Selleck and Tom Selleck’s mustache return to play Robert B. Parker’s detective for another TV movie. Actual TV movies are pretty rare to come across these days, and the Stone ones are reliably entertaining. So tuck in with a bottle of Sunday night wine and watch Selleck grimace his way into your heart. ANTICIPATION: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT’S NOT SET IN HAWAII?