Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and prepare for your vasectomy. LET’S GO!
EASTBOUND AND DOWN – 10:30PM Sunday (HBO) Kenny Powers returns for a second season of unrepentant dirtbaggery, and thank goodness for that. There isn’t a more violently profane show on television, and no one likes violent profanity more than I do. At the end of last season, Kenny had fled North Carolina after lying to everyone about a big league job offer. This season, he resurfaces in Mexico with a cornrow mullet. MUY CALIENTE! If you’ve missed Katy Mixon and Katy Mixon’s considerable assets, fear not. She will return at some point this season, probably to slap Kenny to death. And hopefully Will Ferrell shows up again in the Ric Flair wig. ANTICIPATION: YOU’RE OUT, HE’S IN!
BLUE BLOODS – 10:00PM Tonight (CBS) CBS’ big new Friday night is this drama about three generations of a family working in law enforcement. Tom Selleck and his majestic ‘stache plays the patriarch, a police commish who may not exactly be on the up and up. Bridget Moynahan takes time out from nurturing Tom Brady’s child to play an assistant DA. Could she uncover an unsettling truth about her old man, namely that he sometimes walks around in an apron and nothing more? You’ll just have to see. ANTICIPATION: COPPY!
CSI: NEW YORK – 9:00PM Tonight (CBS) Melina Verylonggreekname is out on this show. In steps the lovely Sela Ward and her very shiny teeth. I still remember her as the wife in “The Fugitive”. So devastating. Don’t spread the rose petals around, Mrs. Kimble! The one-armed man is coming for you! ANTICIPATION: BODIES!
SNL – 11:30PM Saturday (NBC) It’s SNL’s 35th season, which means it’s the 35th time everyone will say that it’s past its prime and needs to be cancelled. Your host is Amy Poehler, and your musical guest is Katy Perry. Sure, you got kicked off of Sesame Street, Katy. But what will you do to get kicked off of THIS show? It’s gonna take something awfully risqué, but I believe in you. Don’t let America down. ANTICIPATION: GURLS!
THE SIMPSONS – 8:00PM Sunday (FOX) The zillionth season of The Simpsons premiere with a giant musical episode (guhhhhhhh) featuring the cast of “Glee” (double guhhhhhhhhhh), along with Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie from “Flight of the Conchords” (Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy). ANTICIPATION: WATCH SEASON FOUR RERUNS INSTEAD!