Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you elbow out that 85-year-old woman to grab that $100 LCD flat-screen at Best Buy. LET’S GO!
AUBURN VS. ALABAMA - 2:30PM Today (CBS) Stuck at work? Sucks to be you, because one of the most important college football games of the year takes place this very afternoon, with #1 Auburn taking on defending champion and arch rival Alabama in their classic Iron Bowl match-up. To advance to the national title game, Auburn has to beat the Crimson Tide today and then win the SEC Title game against South Carolina. Or do they? A lot of people assume that TCU or Boise State would immediately take Auburn’s spot if that happened, but I could easily see Auburn losing today, winning the SEC title game, and still going over those two lesser conference teams. And if that happens, you playoff advocates should be doubly annoyed, because not only would a worthy team end up getting shafted, but because keeping a one-loss SEC team out of the national title game is just the kind of thing that would drive college football officials to consider going with a playoff. And only a century too late! ANTICIPATION: WAR EAGLE!
OUTRAGEOUS FOOD - 10:00PM Tonight (Food Network) Behold the 10-pound meatball! You can demolish small buildings with it! Don’t let it fall off your plate. It’ll kill your children! ANTICIPATION: ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI!
CANDYMAN: THE DAVID KLEIN STORY - 8:00PM Saturday (Documentary Channel) The story of the guy who invented the Jelly Belly jellybean. Oh, so I have him to blame for getting a seaweed-flavored bean in every Jelly Belly handful? Gimme his address. Mr. Klein will come correct once I get my hands on him. ANTICIPATION: MORE TOASTED MARSHMALLOW BEANS PLEASE!
SOUL TRAIN AWARDS - 9:00PM Sunday (BET) Celebrate as BET hands out awards named after a show that no longer exists but has an award named after it because everyone loves to say, Sooooooooooul train! R. Kelly will be performing. I’d keep your niece away from him. ANTICIPATION: GROOVY!
BRIDALPLASTY - 9:00PM Sunday (E!) Every bit as awful as it sounds, E!’s new reality show is a competition between future brides for free plastic surgery. For the two people out there that really missed “The Swan.” ANTICIPATION: EVIL!