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Jeremy Affeldt will miss the remainder of the 2011 regular season after having surgery on his right hand. He had the surgery because he cut his hand open while trying to separate frozen hamburgers with a knife.
Or he's just making stuff up to get out of playing the rest of the season.
I kid, I kid. Janie McCauley of the AP reports that Affeldt "sustained a deep cut" in his right hand after he "was trying to separate frozen burgers."
And Andrew Baggarly of the San Jose Mercury-News notes that the cut was deep enough to cause nerve damage. The good thing is that Affeldt's a lefty, so the damage to the right hand shouldn't be too substantial, in terms of impacting his career.
As my friend Matt Snyder at CBSSports.com puts it, you have to bet that Affeldt "regrets the decision to go sharp" -- there's so many other options available in the kitchen it really doesn't make a lick of sense to use a really sharp knife to split frozen burgers.
Especially since, you know, typically such an action is performed with a hand on the other side.
It's the food equivalent of trying to stab open a bottle of wine. The result is never pretty.