The title of this post is based in hyperbole, but only by so much -- nearly the entire Giants roster is injured right now.
Last night, the proverbial straw shattered the proverbial camel's proverbial wonky back, when Jonathan Sanchez capped off a run of injuries that tops anything I've ever seen with one sports team, almost to the point of being comical.
Sanchez rolled his ankle fielding a bunt from
George Jose Costanza in the second inning and had to be taken out of the game. To add insult to the injury, the Braves walked the game off on the Giants in extra innings.
But what's really insane is the lineup that Bruce Bochy was forced to field on Tuesday night:
Cody Ross, CF
Mike Fontenot, 2B
Pablo Sandoval, 1B
Aubrey Huff, LF
Brandon Belt, RF
Orlando Cabrera, SS
Miguel Tejada, 3B
Chris Stewart, C
Jonathan Sanchez, P
No, that's really what the lineup card said. Really -- read it again. Go ahead.
For starters, the only available bench players for Bochy were Aaron Rowand and Eli Whiteside. (!!!) That's because Nate Schierholtz fouled a ball off his foot on Monday and could be headed to the disabled list as well.
And because Jeff Keppinger hurt his wrist on Monday against the Braves and is had an MRI taken last night.
Think about that: two position players available off the bench, with the team's first two options at first taking over the outfield, Miggy recalled to take Carlos Beltran's place, and Panda playing first.
It was like flies dropping everywhere in the hours and minutes leading up to the game, as the lineup changed every 10 minutes or so and news of a new injury came across Twitter or from the Giants.
Of course, Beltran and Sergio Romo went on the DL earlier. And closer Brian Wilson is suffering what is almost surely a stiff back of sorts.
It's a comical mess and there are only three explanations for it.
One, the Giants are quickly regressing to the mean from the 2010 World Series run, when the team didn't suffer a single meaningful and/or major injury en route to taking the title.
Two, this is horrible, horrible karmic payback for Barry Zito's recent "ankle injury" that has him sidelined indefinitely.
Or three, Brian Sabean literally sold his soul to the devil in exchange for a world championship, and now the Giants fans are forced to suffer through the consequences.
Whatever, the Giants are quickly sliding into the "danger zone" -- 3.5 games back of the Diamondbacks, but more importantly, six games back of the Braves for the wild card.
The latter being more important because right now the Braves are "Giants-ing" a really beat-up Giants team and putting some serious distance between the nearest wild-card contender.