Michelle Williams On Heath Ledger’s Death: ‘In Some Ways It Gets Worse’

Updated 9:34 PM PST, Fri, Nov 21, 2008

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Michelle Williams has spoken about her grief over the death of Heath Ledger — her ex-boyfriend and the father of her daughter, Matilda.

“It’s so sad,” Williams told Newsweek in a new interview to promote her film “Wendy Lucy.” “I guess it’s always changing… What else can I say?”

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Ledger died in January at the age of 28, the result of an accidental overdose of prescription medication. He and Michelle started a relationship in 2005, after being paired together as husband and wife in “Brokeback Mountain.” Their child, Ledger’s lone offspring Matilda, was born the same year.

The couple split in late 2007, but Ledger’s death, which so far Williams has kept quiet about, has been a heavy weight on the petite blonde’s shoulders.

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“I just wake up each day in a slightly different place,” she said. “Grief is like a moving river, so that’s what I mean by ‘it’s always changing’.

“It’s a strange thing to say,” she continued after a pause. “Because I’m at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It’s just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways it gets worse. That’s what I would say.”

While her grief is ever-present, so too is her anger over the paparazzi, who she told Newsweek are relentless.

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“It burns a fire inside of me, the s--- that I’ve seen people do to get at me or my daughter,” she said. “I won’t forget it, and I wont’ support it. I don’t want my daughter growing up feeling spied on or threatened.”

In fact, Williams said she is most angry at the female paparazzi, one of which she gave a scolding to.

“I said, ‘You’re better than this. Look at you! You’re young, you’re able-bodied, you have a brightness in your eyes. You’re above this.’ But you know what? She didn’t go away,” Williams explained.

Williams said she is currently taking a year off to focus on being a mom, but if the paparazzi attention continues on her family, she is thinking about leaving show business for good.

“If it gets to the point where I can’t situate my life in a way that they stay away more, then I’ll drop a match on the thing,” she said. “I’ll be sad. I like to act. It’s saved my life over and over again. It’s given me a sense of self-esteem, self-worth. I have this thing that I’m in love with – acting — and now it has this baggage.”

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