Tila Tequila Ashamed of Suicidal "Meltdown"

"I am a bit embarrassed and ashamed," she wrote today

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    The starlet said she is now seeking medication and blames the incident on what she says is post traumatic stress.

    Tila Tequila now says she wants a shot at life.

    The reality TV vixen, still reeling from her public fight with ex-boyfriend and pro football star Shawne Merriman last month, said she's embarrassed over the rambling suicide note she posted on her Twitter page early Monday morning was simply a cry for help.

    "I am going to kill myself cuz I don't want to life [sic] in a world where its filled with IGNORANCE! which majority of you ARE! & racists!" she wrote. "As dark descends into my world...I drown at night, without a fight. One last breath before I go. Dont mourn me world, I will die slow." 

    The starlet said she is now seeking medication and blames the incident on what she says is post traumatic stress caused by her hospitalization after her alleged violent fight with the San Diego Chargers star.

    "I am a bit embarrassed and ashamed that the whole world witnessed my very public meltdown about being suicidal, but at the same time, I know that I shouldn't be," Tila posted today on the blog Global Grind.

    "Had I not spoken out for help, my loved ones would not have seen my cry for help, and I probably wouldn't be alive today. Had I not done what I did last night, I most definitely would have made the biggest mistake of my life, that can never undo."