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Dave Eggers, right, might want to stick to writing screenplays with wife Vendela Vita, left -- because the San Francisco Panorama shows no sign of saving newspapers.
Drop by McSweeney's flagship "Pirate Store" at 826 Valencia to pick up a copy today for five bucks -- otherwise, you'll have to pay $16 for a copy.
It's not actually going to be a daily paper -- it's just the one issue, it took months to produce, and even at those ridiculous prices, it does nothing to prove that there's a sustainable business model for newspapers.
Instead, it's merely a passion project by the deep-pocketed Eggers and his clubby clique of literary buddies.
And for actual journalists looking for work, don't get your hopes up. The price McSweeney's is willing to pay for investigative journalism starts at a mere 12 cents a word -- far less than minimum wage.
Eggers admitted to the Los Angeles Times that he no solutions to offer for newspaper publishers, only that "[W]e're trying to luxuriate in print and maybe remind people of everything it can do."
Like text! And graphics! None of which you'd ever be able to find on the Internet.
If the Panorama is the future of newsprint, then expect to pay much, much more while the writers earn much, much less -- all for the privilege of having something to wrap your fish in or line your birdcage with.
Jackson West wished he'd cashed in early on the current memoir craze so that he could indulge in expensive follies, too.