Almost 20 years after her sister Nicole Brown Simpson’s body was found stabbed to death, Tanya Brown recalls her decade-long struggle to accept her older sister’s murder.
"It was really hard for me to wrap my brain around how somebody can love you, give you children, and then kill you," Brown said.
Nicole Brown Simpson’s body was found June 12, 1994. Brown believes her former brother-in-law OJ Simpson killed her sister. Simpson was never convicted of murder, but he was found liable in a civil trial.
A day before Simpson led police on a slow speed chase and was arrested for Nicole’s murder, Tanya said she had ridden with the football star to her sister’s funeral.
"I just remember sitting there, and looking at the cut on his finger, and I was, (thinking) you know, that’s the cut everybody’s talking about," Brown said.
A decade of unresolved grief included an attempt to commit suicide. Brown ended up in psychiatric hospital for 10 days.
"I had anger toward Denise, my sisters, my parents, even Nicole, of course OJ," Brown recalled.
After that, Brown says, she had a turning point.
"I think when we get to the point where we can really accept the situation and not live in it, that's when the healing begins," Brown said.
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Brown has written a book called "Finding Peace Amid the Chaos: My Escape from Depression and Suicide."
Brown added that because of the tragedy, her family has taken on the role of educating others about domestic violence and mental health.
"You got to look at something positive and if I, I'd rather have (Nicole) here, but she's doing some good work (now)," Brown said.
Correction: An earlier version of this story stated OJ Simpson was found guilty of violating Nicole's civil rights. But in fact, he was found liable in the deaths in a civil wrongfuth death trial.