Fourth NFL preseason football games are notoriously boring and meaningless, but even die-hard football maniacs across the Bay Area were wishing the station would just switch to the regularly-scheduled broadcast of a South Park rerun instead of televising the rest of that dog of an exhibition contest Thursday night.
In a game where JaMarcus Russell played just one three-and-out series, half the guys who were on the field will be unemployed in 48 hours, and even J.T. the Brick was looking for somewhere else to be by about mid-second quarter, the Oakland Raiderslost their final preseason game to the Seattle Seahawks, 31-21.
Yes, the starters on offense played one series for just three plays, and gained three lousy yards . The starters on defense played just five plays, and gave up only 16 yards.
The Raiders' only legitimate highlight came when Louis Rankin ripped off a 45-yard touchdown run eight minutes into the game. Not one Seahawk laid a finger on him, and the next thing you know he was literally shimmying in the end zone. If you're stuck at work today, I say just watch the video of that play again and again and again until it's time to go home.
The Raiders' starting D, after a thorough embarrassment against the Saints, looked demonstrably better stopping the run. Gerard Warren dropped a Seahawk running back for a loss on two consecutive plays. And then he went to the bench for the rest of the night to prepare for his fantasy league draft.
That game wasn't even worth so much as bragging rights for either team. Unless Seahawks fans like to brag, "Our roster cuts could whoop your roster cuts!"
Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who is spending the day watching NFL highlight videos on company time.