Sea Lions Shake Their Moneymakers

New York Aquarium sea lions are bringing in the bucks -- could ours be pressed into the oldest profession?

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Tim Pearce
    How much would you pay to caress this hunka-hunka burnin' blubber?

    San Francisco is struggling to get revenue to match expenses. Could the city cash in on one of its more popular natural attractions?

    Seems the New York Aquarium is working to make ends meet by charging visitors $200 lock lips with a sea lion. (A little tongue action is extra, presumably.)

    Certainly San Francisco has plenty of potential marine mammal playmates on hand for the picky pucker-upper. Pier 39, one of the nation's top tourist attractions, brings an estimated 11 million tourists each year to watch the bulls and cows frolic.

    So why not open up a blubbery brothel?

    The only problem is that tourists are expressly forbidden to feed or otherwise interact with the brood.

    Probably because, unlike the trained performers in New York, our native population would just as soon bite your face off as let you romance them with raw fish.

    Frankly, legalizing pot is probably the safer potential revenue stream.

    Photo by Tim Pearce.

    Jackson West figures kissing a sea lion isn't the kinkiest thing you could pay for in San Francisco by any stretch of the imagination.