Never at a loss for wisecracking sports parodies, The Onion Sports turns it's eyes to the Oakland Raiders for the satirical "infograph" currently residing on their front page. Their "Strongside/Weakside" infograph profiles Raiders owner Al Davis, calling him "fascinating for the intensity with which he just doesn't give a damn."
Strongside/Weakside is a running joke graphic wherein The Onion lists a sports personality's supposed strengths and weaknesses in bullet point format alongside an image of the person in question. Strengths appear on the left, weaknesses appear on the right, and all of them are ridiculous falsehoods. Previous victims of this gag include Manny Ramirez and C.C. Sabathia.
The Al Davis Strongside/Weakside graphic is a classic. Realize that this is The Onion, so a couple of the quips are on the wrong side of PG-13.
Among Al Davis' supposed strengths are "Always very clear which player from the other team he wants injured," and "Hired first Latino and second African-American head coach ever, even though those men were Tom Flores and Art Shell."
Among Davis' weaknesses: "Seemed to know about the death of longtime foe Pete Rozelle well before being told."
This infograph draws extra awesomeness from Davis' attire, in this case the snow-white formal baggy jumpsuit with silver and black trim. Al Davis may be the only elderly caucasian man whose wardrobe makes Deion Sanders' outfits look pedestrian.
So The Onion had a few laughs at us, Raider fans. But we can have a few laughs at them too. After all, Raider fans aren't the ones abandoning the Bay Area because of decreasing ad revenue.
Joe Kukura is a freelance writer whose weakness is "Actually believes stories he reads in The Onion."