Meet the Candidates You Hardly Know or Care About

California's gubernatorial race is kind of like "The Hills," but with old people

By Jackson West
|  Thursday, Dec 17, 2009  |  Updated 2:06 PM PDT
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Meet the Candidates You Hardly Know or Care About

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According to a poll, Jerry Brown will crush you -- not that you particularly care.

The Public Policy Institute of California poll detailing the relative chances of gubernatorial candidates has the wonks chattering -- but hardly anyone in California cares, or even knows who these people are.

Assuming Senator Dianne Feinstein doesn't throw her hairdo in the ring on the Democratic side, former governor and current Attorney General Jerry Brown can sit back and watch the Republican candidates spend money and claw at each other until next June. Maybe catch up on some Law and Order reruns or start a collection of Grateful Dead concert bootlegs.

Among those Republicans, former eBay CEO Meg Whitman is the best known candidate on the Republican ticket, but has recently weathered a barrage of bad press thanks to a lawsuit between Craigslist and eBay that has gone to trial in Delaware.

Testimony from Cragislist CEO Jim Buckmaster and cofounder Craig Newmark painted a picture of a duplicitous Whitman, causing eBay to issue a statement today accusing Buckmaster and Newmark of "slinging mud at eBay’s witnesses."

For his part, Newmark is keeping it in court and not doing it on Democratic partisan hack site The Huffington Post -- owned by former Democratic gubernatorial candidate Arianna Huffington.

The poll left Whitman's fellow Silicon Valley multimillionaire, Insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner, to declare the race "wide open."

Poizner recently poured $15 million of his business winnings into his own campaign, but stands as the least-well known candidate.

As for former congressman Tom Campbell, he's considering a switch to the even less interesting Senate race, where he'd be fighting for the primary against former HP CEO Carly Fiorina and State Assemblyman Chuck DeVore, with the primary victor challenging incumbent Democrat Barbara Boxer.

Jackson West wants a copyeditor for Christmas -- one who'll remind him that "Dianne" has two "n"s.

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