Imagine you're throwing a birthday party for your 13-year-old daughter. You have pony's set to carry the lucky kids around the yard. A clown that is going to paint the faces of the children and tie balloon animals. And the cake is as delicious and frosted as anything you've ever placed in your rumbling stomach.
Now imagine the pony has a bad back. It carries children the same way it would carry an international Space Station. Poorly ... very poorly. The clown shows up, but he's drunk and keeps painting phallic symbols on the kids faces as he laughs into his flask. Oh, and that cake? Yeah, turns out yours got mixed up with one from a vegan party, and it tastes the same way Tara Reid's stomach looks ... not great.
That is what the Presidents Cup is currently facing at Harding Park in San Francisco. With just five weeks until the United States team hosts the International team in the seventh playing of the team event, the municipal golf course is still reeling from what is now being deemed Fertilizergate.