Kiper Flips His Wig Discussing Crabtree

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    NEWSLETTERS

    TK
    Getty Images
    Mel Kiper got a little hairy on the topic of the 49ers' draft pick Michael Crabtree.

    You might be just plain sick of the whole debate on whether 49ers' first-round draft pick Michael Crabtree would actually benefit from sitting out the whole season and re-entering next year's NFL Draft..

    But can I interest you in a version of this debate where Mel Kiper throws such an unprofessional hissy fit that even Ari Gold would tell him to take a deep breath and settle down because it's just a job?

    In an ESPN discussion still available online that I have already giggled my way through 17 times, Mel Kiper joins analyst Todd McShay to discuss the week's intriguing college football storylines. Their moderator segues to the "Curious Case of Michael Crabtree,, who is not aging backwards but is certainly not moving forward with his life either.

    Mel Kiper, oddly, seems like a bigger fan of Crabtree right now than Deion Sanders at a Subway grand opening. "I still think, even if he sits out this year, that talent will win out," Kiper bellows in his trademark carnival barker shouting. "I still think he will go in the top ten overall (next year), maybe higher than this year when he was a 49er pick at Number 10."

    Tood McShay is understandably baffled by this remark, and says, "How can you say that, Mel?"

    Kiper become so upset he almost has a hair come out of place. "Very easily! I just did!," Kiper yells back, confirming that he does indeed have a mental age of eleven years old.

    McShay calmly lays out a litany of arguments why Crabtree would be unlikely to be selected even higher in next year's draft. Then he tries to draw a parallel with this year's draft, explaining, "Let's say he drops to #22, where Percy Harvin went."

    "Won't happen, Todd! Won't happen!," Kiper shouts back. You practically expect him to yell "You lie!" and then grab McShay's microphone to go off about how Beyonce had a better video.

    Is this an intentional schtick, or do Mel Kiper and Todd McShay really despise one another so much they can't even be civil to one another on-air?

    I'm not sure. But I do know that watching Mel Kiper is a lot more enjoyable when there's a fellow sitting next to Kiper pointing out what a nincompoop he is.

    Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who can't believe it's only Week 2 of the NFL season and he's already gone through half his stockpile of Mel Kiper jokes for next year's draft.