Legendary Lou Wants to Represent Florida

Lou Holtz is mulling over a run at Congress in central Florida

By Todd Wright
|  Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009  |  Updated 6:24 AM PDT
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Legendary Lou Wants to Represent Florida

Rachel Rique

Is there a better candidate to lead America deeper into a recession than Lou Holtz?

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The economy is in need of a motivational speaker and who better to give it than Lou Holtz.

The Hall of Fame college football coach is thinking about making a run at a congressional seat in Florida, which should boost the spirits of everyone in the state, even Florida Gator fans.

A Lou Holtz Pep Talk

Holtz, a Republican who lives in central Florida, could decide in the next several weeks whether to run for the congressional seat currently held by Democrat Suzanne Kosmas. If he does run, Kosmas probably has as much a shot at beating Holtz as Baylor had at beating Notre Dame during the year’s Holtz coached the Irish. It might not be pretty.

The 72-year-old Holtz has never run for office, but that doesn’t really matter in the popularity contest that has become politics. Half of the electorate would probably elect Holtz just to hear him talk on the House floor with that cute half drunk, half-senial slur of his. And what passionate speeches those would be.

Holtz is known for rambling on for hours about guts, pride and glory when asked would he like cream and sugar in his morning coffee. What do you think he will come up with when asked about the future prospects of the economy? Get your popcorn ready!

Holtz could inspire a chicken (or flock of geese) not to cross the road or motivate an unemployed person to buy a new car. He’s honed his craft as an analyst at ESPN since retiring from his last coaching stint at the University of South Carolina at the end of the 2004 season.

Bottom line, Holtz is a leader of men, a winner and an inspirational windbag unlike anyone Washington has ever seen.
 

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