If only it were so easy that a girl could just hold up a sign and get a $12 million-a-year Major League Baseball superstar to kiss her on her birthday.
Actually, it is that easy. As long as the superstar is the San Francisco Giants' lovable longhair, Tim Lincecum.
A fan was celebrating her 21st birthday at a recent Giants-Mets game, and the crafty gal brought a home-made sign reading "Lincecum #55 -- Since I'm 21 now, wanna be my first kiss? On the cheek..."
Sounds like kind of a long shot plan. But pitcher Barry Zito saw the sign from the dugout, and pointed it out to Lincecum. Timmy marched right over and granted the birthday girl her wish right on the spot. Well, on the cheek, actually.
Now, thanks to the time-wasting miracles of social networking applications, we've got pictures, video, and a first-hand account of the incident. The lucky fan posted these on Twitter, where she's known as @RMadison55.
"First kiss ever and from Tim Lincecum! Life is good," the lucky fan said via her Twitter account.
"First kiss ever"? Suuuure it was. And I'm Pablo Sandoval's vegan nutritionist.
Given Ms. Madison55's success in this endeavor, you can expect quite a few more fans to hold up signs asking Lincecum to give them a kiss.
And probably also a few others whose signs will ask Lincecum to give them some Mendocino County skunkweed.
Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who is hoping you don't notice that this story took place more than two weeks ago.