Seemed like a nice courtroom victory for Barry Bonds' defense team last week when Judge Susan Illston ruled that she's inclined to not admit most of his positive urine tests. Turns out, that just forces prosecutors to go in another direction. Namely, straight to Bonds' bedsheets for intimate details from Barry's former mistress on some pretty sizable matters.
The prosecution's swing-and-a-miss on the positive steroid tests makes their witness testimony all the more important. They'll rely heavily on testimony from players like Jason Giambi and Bobby Estella, but also from Barry's former mistress Kim Bell.
Bell has asserted in the past -- not exactly under oath, but while she was on "Geraldo" -- that Bonds did several times admit to her that he was knowingly using steroids.
Prosecutors will also be interested in the details concerning any visible, rather intimate side effects. That means they'll ask Kim Bell what we'd all like to know. How big was it, and what it did it look like?
Barry's attornies' motions against certain evidence, filed last week, implies they knew this was coming. Prosecutors will use research of a certain Dr. Larry Bowers, who testifies in the document that the steroids in question would have led to "shrunken testicles" and "erratic sexual drive."
Bell will be questioned about her firsthand knowledge of these symptoms.
Kim Bell -- who is indeed hot, especially if you're into that Rachel Ray type -- has maintained in past interviews that Bonds did suffer from sexual dysfunction. Bell told Playboy magazine, "You learn to exaggerate your reaction to make him feel better.", as well as episodes of roid rage manifesting in angry voice mails.
That is, if "I'm gonna cut off your head and leave you in a ditch" counts as an angry voice mail.
This may also be the only heterosexual relationship on record in which it was the guy asking the girl, "Do I look bloated?"