Looking for an amusing way to pass the time? The Oakland Raiders would like you to take a few minutes to complete an Internet survey indicating how many thousands of dollars you'd be willing to spend on luxury seating in the hypothetical new Oakland Stadium.
Yes, this is the same team that can't sell out its games in the current stadium when tickets are only $36 apiece.
This Internet survey is a marketing research tool the Raiders intend to use to figure out just how much Raider Nation is willing to pay for luxury seats. Not just the luxury seats, but also some additional highway robbery called a "One-Time Equity Membership Fee" -- the new name for the old multiple-thousand-dollar Personal Seat License.
The survey was sent out to season ticket holders weeks ago, and is now available online to the Raider Nation at large.
If you take the survey, you're asked about your current Raiders ticket-buying habits. You are asked in which section you currently sit, and then asked where'd you'd like to sit in a hypothetical new stadium seating plan.
You enter first choice. Then you enter your second choice. Then you see what these seats will cost, and you have a panic attack until you remind yourself that you haven't given them a credit card number yet.
The prices are just proposals, to see what you'd be willing to pay. But your chain gets jerked in classic fashion. Once you commit to a figure, they start throwing higher and lower dollar amounts out there to find your fiduciary breaking point.
After you recover from that sticker shock, they start talking real money. The Personal Seat License has been renamed the "One-Time Equity Membership Fee". They might as well have renamed it the "Lehman Brothers Financial Product". And the bidding starts at $12,000!
You want to know the sad thing? These $12,000 prices are actually pretty cheap compared to the same deals in other new NFL stadiums.
Before you just go through this thing and enter the most outlandish dollar amounts possible just for laughs (which you can, and I did), remember that the Raiders football organization is using this data for serious assessment on the feasibility of the building themselves a new place and staying in Oakland.
Because if this place falls through, they're going to have to share a studio in Santa Clara.
Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who only took this survey because he thought it was a paid focus group.