Rumored Buyer Ellison at Courtside for Warriors

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    Rumored buyer Larry Ellison will attend Monday night's Golden State Warriors' game.

    Dub Nation is a little more amped up than usual for Monday night's Warriors home game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. It's not just the one game all year that LeBron comes to Oracle Arena. 

    It's also the one game ever so far for which the guy who runs Oracle is coming to Oracle Arena. Which is kind of a big deal, considering the persistent rumors that he intends to buy this team.

    Matt Steinmetz of Comcast Sports Net reports that Larry Ellison will have courtside seats to Monday night's game, the first-ever Warriors game he'll attend. Ellison will, in fact, be a guest of current owner Chris Cohan, and will sit in Cohan's court side seats directly across from the Warriors' bench. 

    Golden State GM Robert Rowell even canceled a business trip to be there and suck up to his possible new boss. "I wouldn’t read anything into it," Rowell told Comcast Sports Net, "He’s the CEO of the company that is our biggest corporate sponsor. Of course we’re going to roll out the red carpet for him."

    Larry Ellison is not your typical billionaire. He's the fourth-richest guy in the world, he lives in Redwood City, Calif. and he's got a freaking basketball court on his yacht. It's been many times noted, most recently by Golden State of Mind, how much he resembles the "Most Interesting Man in the World" guy from the Dos Equis ads, both in appearance and behavior.

    There is a strong sentiment, based on nothing but a collective hunch, that Ellison's notoriously competitive nature would not allow a sports franchise he owned to suck for as many consecutive years as the Golden State Warriors have.

    Current owner Chris Cohan has owned or held a majority stake in the Warriors for the last sixteen seasons, counting this one. Fifteen of those sixteen seasons, the Warriors have missed the playoffs, counting this one. The Warriors currently have the second-worst record in the Western Conference.

    Would the Warriors be any better under Larry Ellison's ownership? We can only speculate based on his boat-racing exploits. Ellison owns "Dogzilla," the United States' boat in the upcoming America's Cup. The boat hasn't won a cup yet, but Ellison casually throws away millions and millions of dollars on this hobby simply because he really enjoys winning things.

    The Bay Area hasn't had a spendthrift owner like that since before Eddie D got nailed by the feds for bribing a Louisiana governor.

    Ellison would be that kind of owner, except that he's one heck of a lot smoother at not getting busted in federal court.

    Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who will be waving a "Larry, Buy My Hoopty!" sign from Section 229 in the upper level.