Power rankings. You hate them. They’re so arbitrary and pointless, especially when they include all 32 NFL teams. All you want to know after a good week of NFL action is who the bestest team in the NFL right now, and which one is the absolute barrel-scraping worst. The one so terrible, it may soon be overthrown by its rebellious citizenry. That’s why we have TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE NFL, where we go to great lengths to tell you who’s the top dog in football right now, this very minute. LET’S GO!
THE TOP: Green Bay Packers
I noted this yesterday, but it bears repeating: This isn't a flawless team. Adrian Peterson ran all over them despite playing behind a rookie QB, and the Vikings were able to sack Aaron Rodgers a handful of times. Heck, if Leslie Frazier had sacked up and gone for it on 4th-and-10 with a few minutes left, the Packers could have easily been dealt their first loss of the season. So they can be beaten. IN THEORY.
In reality, I'm not sure Aaron Rodgers is ever going to throw an incompletion again. He's in the same zone as Jim Kelly back in 1990, or Tom Brady in 2007. Every incompletion he throws (and there aren't many) feels like an enormous upset. Every time the Packers run the ball, it feels like they're doing you a favor. Rodgers has that invincible vibe around him right now, and I don't know if that's going to go away anytime soon.
THE BOTTOM: Miami Dolphins/Indianapolis Colts/St. Louis Rams
How do you separate this bunch? I mean, really, it's impossible. All three went to great lengths this week to declare themselves the worst team in the history of everything ever.
The Colts let the Saints hang a freakin' sixtyburger on them. The Rams let DeMarco Murray pile up over two bills rushing on them. And the Dolphins! Oh, the Dolphins. Only the Dolphins could somehow manage to make Tim Tebow look THAT competent for seven whole minutes, and invite all his friends and family to the game to cheer him on. It was a masterpiece of inept chokery, to be certain.
So I dunno how to separate this woeful bunch. And NONE of them play each other this season! They could all go 0-16! That can't happen, can it? The seas would swallow us whole if it did. But I've seen each of these teams in action, and all of them thoroughly deserve their records. They are puke.