Maybe some jabs from the world's funniest talk-show host (settle down, Conan fans) will jar Apple into finally realizing the problem is, uh, serious.
Oh, and I swear No. 6 really happened to me.
Letterman is not the first to rip on Apple's misfortune. One YouTube parody shows the trance some Apple fanboys and girls seem to be stuck in. To date, it has had more than 4.5 million views, despite its graphic language.