Ukrainian Navy Wants to Arm Dolphins

It's nearly 'Austin Powers' worthy

By Travis Andrews
|  Sunday, Oct 14, 2012  |  Updated 8:58 PM PDT
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Ukrainian Navy Wants to Arm Dolphins

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Dolphins are smart little buggers, and the U.S. Navy has used them, via the Marine Mammal Program, to locate underwater mines and enemy divers. They've proven incredibly adept at using their sonar to find said objects, but the Ukrainian Navy wants to test another aspect of dolphin-skill: how they do wielding weapons.

In the most Austin Powers-related news I've ever reported, the Ukrainian Navy wants to train dolphins to "attack enemy combat swimmers using special knives or pistols fixed to their heads," because the world is a bad science fiction story, apparently.

This might not be the first time this has ever been attempted. Russian commandos have trained to fight dolphins in case that ever became a reality, and the Soviet Navy once deployed dolphins that were armed with syringes loaded with carbon dioxide. Those Soviet dolphins also were trained to attach mines onto ships and parachuted out of helicopters.

Flipper is far braver than his human counterparts, is what I'm taking away from all of this. This still seems questionable, and doubt has been raised if dolphins will really ever end up with freaking pistols on their heads. Mostly because, WHY DO THAT?

Eh. We'll see. Be careful if you go swimming around the Ukraine.

DVICE

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