Don't Buy Your Mother This Present

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    NEWSLETTERS

     Oh, my. The "Better Marriage Blanket" may be named in a way that makes you think it'll aid in communication or will keep your mother-in-law for staying at your place when she's in town, but no. It's much more basic than that. It absorbs farts.

    Yes, using "the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons," this bad boy will soak up any putrid stenches being blasted underneath its protective shield.

    Of course, if you've got gas issues that are so bad that they're waking your partner up out of a deep sleep in the middle of the night, maybe you should be turning to a doctor rather than to a fancy blanket. But hey, I'm no marriage counselor.