Billie Eilish Says Watching Porn Since Age 11 Really ‘Destroyed My Brain'

Billie Eilish reflected on how watching pornography for the past eight years has influenced her views on sex, bodies and herself: "I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much"

Billie Eilish
MICHAEL TRAN/AFP via Getty Images

According to Billie Eilish, the bad guy is porn.

The 19-year-old singer discussed the impact pornography has had on her body and mindset while speaking on SiriusXM's "The Howard Stern Show" on Monday, Dec. 13.

"As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest," she admitted, saying she started watching porn when she was 11 years old.

The artist said the sexual imagery made her feel like "one of the guys," but it affected her negatively in numerous ways. "I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn," Billie explained.

She said that the first few times she had sex, she was "not saying no to things that were not good" because "I thought that's what I was supposed to be attracted to" based on her viewing.

Billie shared, "I'm so angry that porn is so loved, and I'm so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay."

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She also reflected on how the depictions altered her perceptions on how bodies should look.

"The way that vaginas look in porn is f--king crazy," she said. "No vaginas look like that. Women's bodies don't look like that. We don't come like that."

Elsewhere in the interview, Billie touched on her dating life. "I'm not a serial dater," she explained, noting that she doesn't often "flirt" with others. In fact, she finds it difficult to date as a celebrity: "It's really hard to meet people when people are either terrified of you or think that you're out of their league."

The Grammy winner, who previously dated rapper Brandon Quention "Q" Adams, added, "Last year, I thought that I'd be single for the rest of my life. I genuinely couldn't even picture myself in a relationship of any sort." However, it seems her perspective has changed. "I got over that pretty fast."

Billie has shared other ways that beauty standards have impacted her self-image. For example, she recently said going blond earlier this year made her feel more like herself in public, but she switched back to a dark hairstyle before hosting "Saturday Night Live" last weekend.

To read all the highlights of her latest hosting gig, click here.

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