Breathe easy folks – it's Black Wednesday, and you ain't got no job (well, for the rest of the week) or ish to do. With an unprecedented four work-free days ahead of you and the type of weather that demands hardcore boozing (hey, we all gotta keep warm somehow!), tonight is shaping up to easily be one of the biggest party nights of the year. Thankfully, many of our city's bars and clubs have thought ahead, scheduling the type of blowouts that you are likely to still be feeling come Monday. From all-night dance parties to throwback roller discos to those neighborhood bars that will make you feel like you are back at home, here are the top spots to earn that inevitable Thanksgiving hangover tonight:
The Spot: Mezzanine
The Deal: The megaclub will be transformed into a an old-school roller rink for this special "7th Heaven Sadie Hawkins Roller Prom" pre-thanksgiving party. Admission is $7 and skate rentals are a meager $5.
The Scene: According to the party's invite -- "ladies get your boys on the roller rink in your hottest 80's prom apparel, this time machine is stopping at a 1982 Sadie Hawkin's ROLLER PROM. It's the night before Thanksgiving, so no work or school the next day!"
Only Go If: While skating is the theme, partying is the agenda – expect a sea of stylish yet clumsy hipsters, ready to rage into the wee hours.
The Spot: Public Works
The Deal: As the Mission newcomer summarizes, "The night before Thanksgiving will never be the same. Exclusive 2 hour sets, from electronic dance music masters Jesse Rose and Claude VonStroke."
The Scene: While the converted warehouse space only opened its doors in September, it has already earned a solid reputation for its massive debauchery-fueled sweatfests. The bass will be bumping and the crowd will be grooving all evening long.
Only Go If: This one is for the legacy club kids. If you and your visiting best friends ever owned a glow stick or rocked a D.A.R.E shirt, the Dirtybird hosted party will prove to be one for the ages.
The Spot: The Parkside
The Deal: The Potrero Hill live music mecca pulls out all the stops this black Wednesday, calling in New York's influential noise trio Unsane for a special pre-turkey day bash.
The Scene: Expect the bar and covered patio to be overflowing with beer guzzling hardcore and punk music fans.
Only Go If: This is the place to be if you are simply looking to rock out before the holiday. Unsane has developed a cult like following over the years, due in great part to their penchant for shredding.
The Spot: The Page
The Deal: With 21 beers on tap, one of the best whiskey selections in the city, two pool tables and foosball, The Page might just be the choice for the chiller circles looking to party tonight.
The Scene: While the popular Lower Haight haunt is bumping seven nights a week, it is known to get unusually rowdy the night before Thanksgiving, as locals bring in visiting friends and family in droves. If you are not heading back to mom and dad's this year but yearning for that small town watering hole feel, this is your go to.
Only Go If: No matter how crowded this spot gets, you will never find a hype line – they pack people in like sardines. While it makes for a great social scene, it might not be the best setting for more insular and less social groups of boozing friends.
The Spot: Yoshis
The Deal: Kid you not – 80s R&B heroes Tony! Toni! Toné! roll through the Fillmore location of the jazz club for a special pre-Thanksgiving performance.
The Scene: The Yoshi's crowd keeps it swanky and cool, so you can expect folks to be decked out in their fanciest duds as they sway the night away.
Only Go If: Irony seeking hipsters need not apply – these throwback Yoshi's shows are catered towards the real fans. That said, this should make for a great mellow evening for friends to mix and mingle against the backdrop of some oh-so-sensual tunes.
The Spot: Mighty
The Deal: Only in San Francisco could you find two rival "roller discos" going down on a single black Wednesday. Entrance for the Mighty edition is $5, as are skate rentals.
The Scene: Where as the Mezzanine roller disco is hosted by crate digging record nerds, the DJs behind this event are more interested in getting peeps dancing than they are with impressing folks with their disco prowess. Accordingly, the dance-loving Burning Man crowd that frequents Mighty's more electronic-leaning nights are likely to make this party their homebase.
Only Go If: If you are looking for a dance-induced workout before loading up on mom's deep-fried turkey, this is likely your best bet.
The Spot: Zeitgeist
The Deal: The notorious mission mainstay boasts an unbelievable beer selection and an even more unbelievable patio. With ample seating, it can prove to be the ultimate party destination for large groups looking to ring in the holiday season with a dozen or so pitchers of IPA.
The Scene: Expect large gatherings of pint-slugging friends holding down the fort at the large outdoor tables, and plenty of out-of-towners getting 86'd for breaking the established bar rules. Hint: do not take pictures and do not dare go even near the red truck in the far corner of the patio.
Only Go If: While the expected to be frigid temps are hardly an obstacle for the real black Wednesday warriors (layer, layer, layer), you are bound to see some angry folks who did not get the memo re: mini-skirts. Simply put, they are never a good call at the divey mission spot. Be sure to warn your friends, or plan to be leaving the place in a hurry.
The Spot: Riptide
The Deal: While the drinks are per the course, the crackling fire at this Sunset dive is unbeatable on a night like this. To sweeten the deal, SFO Snowboards will be playing snowboard flicks and raffling off related prizes all evening long.
The Scene: Located on the self-described "edge of the Western world," the bar attracts the expected mix of surfers, students and chillers that hold down the Outer Sunset. After a favorable New York Times write up this week, however, you can expect it to be a bit more bustling than usual. If you live west of 25th or so, this spot cannot be beat.
Only Go If: If you do not live in the area, be sure to consult a map before you head out – 47th and Taraval is likely even further than you think. Unless you have a car and a designated driver, you might want to leave this one to the locals.
The Spot: Hemlock Tavern
The Deal: The front room of this Tendernob institution will host the usual diverse mix of Polk St. partyseekers, while the backroom has live music from Oakland-based indie sweathearts Myonics.
The Scene: Hemlock offers the ultimate Black Wednesday 'choose your own adventure' scenario for groups of friends – get boozy and social in the front, or get boozy and rock out in the back. Better yet, bounce between the bar and tiny music space.
Only Go if: This one is better suited for those looking to keep things a bit more chill – those looking to step up the party might want to check out the neighboring string of bars that cater more towards the post-college crowd.
The Spot: The Uptown
The Deal: The Mission dive features a host of cheap drink options and a string of couches that will make you nostalgic for your parent's basement. A great place to catch up with old friends while adding some new folks to the fold. Just be sure to thank the friendly bartenders for your guaranteed impending hangover – you can't help but throw them back here.
The Scene: While the Uptown has the charm of a would-be hometown Black Wednesday hotspot, you won't run into that dreaded quarterback who use to push you in lockers and is now out to steal your girl. Okay, we got to layoff the Netflix on-demand 80's movie queue, but expect the spot to be filled with like-minded Missionites.
Only Go If: Unless you grew up in rural Alaska, the sea of flannel can be a bit unsettling. That said, your visiting pals from Williamsburg, Wicker Park and Silver Lake will feel like they never left home.