Local Turkeys Earn Presidential Pardons

In a month where the president's party got goosed at the polls for leaning too far towards San Francisco's left, where else would Mr. Barack Obama get his annual turkeys to pardon?

Two local turkeys boarded a plane from San Francisco Sunday to fly across the country to meet with the president.

Wednesday Mr. Obama pardoned Apple and Cider, who hail from Wellsford Ranch near Modesto. The two California birds were picked out of 20,000 and had to strut their stuff to win the coveted presidential pardon.

"Twenty-five (turkeys) were selected for a final competition that involved strutting their stuff before a panel of judges with an eclectic mix of music playing in the background," Mr. Obama said."It’s kind of like a turkey version of 'Dancing With the Stars' -- (laughter) -- except the stakes for the contestants was much higher."

Indeed. Not only did Apple and Cider receive liberty and the pursuit of happiness but they got the 
much needed prerequisite of life.

Still being forced to dance is sure to raise the feathers of animal activists everywhere. Being the politician that he is, the president changed an old tradition of sending pardoned birds to Disneyland and instead the two will live out the rest of their days on Mt. Vernon.

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