Healthcare “Reform” Predictions Grow Dire

Give opponents credit for creativity

Cristian DeMarco

Apparently people have been spreading "outlandish rumors" about President Obama's subsidized Canadian-style euthanasia camps, in which the elderly and the disabled face off in gladiatorial combat before a panel of three judges who award both winners and losers with instant death and a $4500 voucher for a "clunker" they'll never use. Said judges: Paula Abdul and two cloned Paula Abduls, hatched aboard the International Space Station with generous funding from George Soros, of course.

Not a single aspect of these rumors is true, but that hasn't stopped mobs of paranoids from flooding town halls with angry predictions of futuristic organized death schemes to be unleashed should healthcare reform come to pass.

And one very special insane person -- a woman who admitted to boarding a 10-hour flight while leaking amniotic fluid from her pregnancy with a special needs child and taking that same child on long runs through an Alaskan wilderness full of grizzly bears -- even wrote a Facebook rant about how President Obama is trying, personally, to kill her baby.

In other words, the healthcare debate has truly sparked the imaginations of millions of Americans.

Not since, hmm, perhaps the Renaissance have we seen such a creative flowering among the common man. People are inventing the most marvelously morbid, insanely deranged scenarios about what life will be like under the scary new healthcare regime that it's almost as if they've already been given access to the expensive hallucinogens that will be distributed to every man, woman, and child as part of Obamacare:

The former governor [Sarah Palin] praised GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann for highlighting “the Orwellian thinking of the president’s health care adviser, Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, the brother of the White House chief of staff” in remarks on the House floor. In that address, Mrs. Bachmann said, “Emanuel wants doctors to look beyond the needs of their patients and consider social justice, such as whether the money would be better spent on somebody else.”

"If you are a grandmother with Parkinson's or a child with cerebral palsy, watch out” Mrs. Bachmann warned.

Could the future of healthcare possibly be this dire? Let's hope so! When Barack Obama was running for president, he promised us "change we can believe in," and there is nothing in the world more believable than a bureaucratic death panel coldly prescribing death to Sarah Palin's many thousands of innocent toddlers.

Anesthesiologist and Hieronymus Bosch scholar Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.

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