PopcornBiz’s Worst Films of 2011

These films made Scott Ross, Scott Huver and Sasha Perl-Raver laugh and cry and grit our teeth--here are our picks for the worst of 2011.

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Sometimes, PopcornBiz's resident critics Scott Ross, Scott Huver, and Sasha Perl-Raver sit through movies do you don't have to. Here are the films that made them laugh and cry and grit their teeth--We give you the worst of 2011.
#11. Miral: Julian Schnabel needs to realize that love, politics and filmmaking go together about as well as a Jaegermeister, breakups and 3am text messages. Seemingly blinded by his love for girlfriend Rula Jebreal, who wrote the screenplay based on her novel, "Miral" was so fragmented and self-indulgent it almost washed away the admiration we've carried for Schnabel since "Before Night Falls" and "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly."
#10. The Conspirator: The very essence of well intentioned middlebrow yawn-inducing dreck. We get that director Robert Redford was trying to tell us that keeping prisoners in Guantanamo without due process is wrong, but did he have to be so preachy, pedantic and dull about it?
#9. I Don’t Know How She Does It: Watching this might give you the impression that the only way to sing the praises of a woman is to denigrate every man in her world. How is it that her boss doesn’t respect her and gives her too much responsibility? It should’ve been called “I Don’t Know How He Does It,” as her husband (Greg Kinnear) does nothing but microwaves one meal and changes one diaper in the first 90 minutes.
Takashi Seida
#8. Beastly: What can we say? It's a high school-set adaptation of "Beauty and the Beast," starring Vanessa Hudgens, Alex Pettyfer and Mary-Kate Olsen. There was better writing, acting and production value on episodes of that ghetto soap opera "Passions." Beastly indeed!
#7. Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 1: We’re not knee-jerk anti-Belle and Edward, we swear: What should have been good, bed-breaking, gory-birthing fun was a bloody bore – neither vampy nor campy enough to keep all life from slowly draining out of this franchise.
#6. The Dilemma: Vince Vaughn’s cool continued to evaporate before our very eyes, Kevin James kept outkicking his coverage, Winona Ryder’s comeback stumbled and Jennifer Connelly went slumming, all in the name of yet another tiresome “marriage-is-hard” comedy bloated with self-importance. Let’s be clear: if you catch your best friend’s wife getting some on the side, there is no dilemma—dude needs to know.
AFP/Getty Images
#5. Arthur: There were so many horrendous remakes, reboots and sequels this year, it takes a lot to stand out on a steaming heap of dreck, but "Arthur" is worthy of such infamy. Incredibly, Dame Helen Mirren and director Jason Winer ("Modern Family") helped Russell Brand barf out a "comedy" as unlikeable, unfunny and unrelatable as this. And it will always be compared to the Dudley Moore original and that makes it even more loathsome. For shame, Arthur. For shame.
#4. Abduction: Taylor Lautner’s got the cut abs and authentic martial arts moves to transition from “Twilight” into an A-list action star, right? Unfortunately, what he also needed was a script that made any freakin’ sense, right down to the title. Or was it comedy he was trying to break into?
Peter Iovino
#3. Hall Pass: Potty humor and the Farrelly Brothers should go together like a puppy and peanut butter, but this raunch-fest was too bloated with misogynistic cliches and lame horn dog humor to earn a single chuckle. When it crescendoed through a final slapsticky faceplant into bizarrely misplaced sentimentality, we were begging for a divorce.
#2. Jack & Jill: The film’s not any more bone-headed than most of Adam Sandler’s latter-day entries, except that its use of Al Pacino--playing himself so egregiously over-the-top that his “Scent of a Woman” characterization could be deemed subtle in comparison--almost single-handedly Fredo’ed decades of great work.
#1. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: An appallingly sloppy, unimaginative and ruthlessly cynical money grab of a film made even more dispiriting by an ending that pointed directly to yet another installment in the franchise, a film that will surely be made thanks to the $800 million in overseas box office. Thanks, Europe!
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