Next to the "hottest hockey player on the planet" Joe Pavelski, San Jose Sharks fans' biggest hero right now is the dude who threw a dead shark with an octopus in its mouth onto the ice in Sunday's Game 2 win over the Red Wings.
Now some dude has come forward claiming he's the dude who did it, offering an extremely detailed explanation for exactly how he pulled off the whole scheme. He's got a credible story, pictures, and -- most convincingly -- an official HP Pavilion ejection history for having done the exact same thing a couple years back.
Ken Burns, you need to immediately begin making a documentary about this fellow's prolific lifetime of hockey pranks.
The perpetrator identifies himself to Yahoo's Puck Daddy blog as Sharks fan "Alfonso Bedoya." Whatever his name, this man should never have to pay for a meal in San Jose again.
The shark-throwing is a parody of Detroit fans' well-known proclivity for throwing an octopus onto the ice for Red Wings games. The new twist here, you see, is the octopus being trapped in the mouth of a shark. Get it?
First, explains "Bedoya", he needed to acquire an actual Shark. He tried several schemes unsuccessfully, until a fisherman phoned him barely 24 hours before the game with a 3-foot leopard shark freshly caught.
Shortly before the game, the shark was duct-taped to the inner leg of one of "Bedoya's" longer-legged friends. Bedoya and his fellow smuggler then bought two pairs of seats -- one set to throw the shark from, and another set to immediately scurry away to and play stupid when security came around asking questions.
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The plan went off beautifully and the Sharks won the game. You have to wonder, though, if anyone asked the guy, "Is that a shark in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"
Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who's just about had it up to here with these 63-year-old retirees and their pranks these days.
