Top And Bottom of the NFL: Week 14

Power rankings. You hate them. They’re so arbitrary and pointless, especially when they include all 32 NFL teams. All you want to know after a good week of NFL action is who the bestest team in the NFL is right now, and which one is the absolute worst. The one so awful, you’d rather be in charge of decorating the Christmas cookies. Lousy Christmas cookies. Is it possible to not get sprinkles all over the freakin’ place? No, it is not. That’s why we have TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE NFL, where we go to great lengths to tell you who’s the top dog in football right now, this very minute. LET’S GO!

THE TOP: New England Patriots

You know how earlier this year everyone was talking about extreme parity and how there’s no best team in the NFL? Well, cancel all that. There’s a best team in the NFL. There’s a super best team in the NFL.

Apologies to the Falcons, who are cruising to a #1 seed in the NFC, but New England is destroying teams right now. The hard numbers are staggering. Tom Brady has 19 TDs and no picks in his last eight games. The Pats have beaten their last two opponents by a combined score of 81-10. It’s been seven weeks since they last scored less than 31 points. They’re getting home field advantage, and they’re probably going to the Super Bowl unless the Steelers have something to say about it.

In fact, we now have an official top tier of the NFL right now, with the Pats, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, and New Orleans. Those are the title game matchups you probably want to see.

If the Pats win the Super Bowl this year, I think I’d like people to stop ranking Peyton Manning above Brady on any kind of All-Time QB list.

THE BOTTOM: Carolina Panthers

Steve Smith on Jimmy Clausen: “He ain’t at Notre Dame no more.”

And so true. And Clausen wasn’t even that good at Notre Dame!

Remember when Mel Kiper had him ranked the second best player in the entire draft? Man, that was funny. I find it hard to believe the Panthers won’t take Andrew Luck once they have the #1 pick overall secured. Then Clausen will be shipped away and become an NFL vagrant. I think it’s what we all hoped and dreamed for, really. Nice to know you, Jimmy.

Someone should really be arrested for this Panthers season. How do you drop Jake Delhomme and end up WORSE?

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