Just when things seemed to be going so swimmingly for the Fish -- new stadium underway, actual spending -- it appears they're going to one-up even the Dolphins in the embarrassing washed-up celebrity department.
...Stapp, a lifelong baseball fan who was the best man at pitcher David Wells' wedding, said he hopes to enter into a partnership with the Marlins, similar to one the team has with rapper Pitbull.
Nothing has been finalized and talks are still in progress, but don’t be surprised to see Stapp singing the National Anthem one day or maybe even singing at a Super Saturday concert sometime in the future...
Stapp already has been to the Marlins’ offices for preliminary talks.
“We’ve sat around the table talking about collaborating. We are contemplating a number promotional opportunities,’’ said Sean Flynn, the Marlins’ vice president for marketing. “We’re looking forward to developing this with Scott and see where it goes.’’
Allow us to predict "where it goes," Mr. Flynn, and point to the nearest toilet. It's not that Stapp isn't a lovely person -- that's as it may be -- but what is the point? Stapp says any partnership would benefit both his and the Marlins' community foundations, but it's hard to imagine an arrangement with the year 1997 would provide any buzz to the Fish.
Is there even another celebrity on the face of the planet people esteem less than a Bizarro Jesus belting overwrought rock with 10th grade girl lyrics?
At this rate, he's probably next.
On the bright side, should we end up tortured by Creed-flavored national anthems and 7th-inning guitar solos about personal prisons, it can't possibly last long. Stapp wants to take people higher, and the new stadium will have a roof.