Somebody has to warn me when sentences like this appear at random. From a tweet by Paul Lukas of UniWatch:
"International outreach: (Sacramento) Kings' new black alternate court includes graphics in Hindi and Mandarin, depending on team's promotional campaign."
Now when did that become up for grabs?
Not the Hindi or Mandarin legends below the Kings' logo, which were announced by the team on NBA.com Thursday. I think every nation that wishes to should feel a part of the Dave Joerger Experience – Mongolia, Kazakhstan, South Sudan, Placerville, you name it.
But what I didn't know is that there is now a desperate marketing need for alternate floors.
I mean, you don't get much more fundamental and frill-free than the ground. You can paint it, you can decal it, you can varnish it, you can stain it, you can scuff it, and it still stays pretty floor-y.
And it robs the Kings of a potential competitive advantage that they could desperately use.
The Boston Celtics made great use of their old parquet floor at the now spectral Bostonb Garden. There were hot spots and dead spots, seams and gaps that only the Celtics players knew, and they all used them to their benefit throughout the golden age of Celtic basketball.
And now that the Celtics are celebrating the Garden's 20th year of rubblehood, they probably miss that old floor a bit. Even though they pretty much sold off most of the bits for great scads of cash and used others to be included in the current floor.
But the Kings need two. No, wait. They need three. Hmmm.
Now the Kings also have four different uniforms to go with their floors, meaning that every game prep will include a few minutes to figure what socks go with what grain of wood. This seems like an unproductive use of everybody's time.
As for the languages on the floor . . . well, if I was from Bulgaria, I'd be pretty damned cheesed off right now that I can't see my team's name on one of my floors.
So I will do it for you. Go You царства на сакрамента!