This Week In Schadenfreude: Bronco Is a Funny Name for a Communist

scha·den·freu·de

-noun
satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.
[Origin: 1890-95; < G, equiv. to Schaden harm + Freude joy]


On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.

Expectations got a little out of hand for BYU when they throttled a UCLA team that had just beaten Tennessee with its eighth string quarterback. It would soon turn out that both UCLA and Tennessee were pretty awful, but by that point BYU was floating in the top ten. No more. The Cougars got stomped by TCU, prompting one Mormon on a mission (HA!) to ask a simple question:

POLL: Do you hate Bronco Mendenhall?

Okay, that might have been tongue in cheek. This, however, is... um:

Subject: Bronco is a communist!

... If a player is gifted at something you should be tailoring plays that allow him to use those gifts. Hiding talents in a system is not the way to go, just ask the communists.

...it's definitely something, anyway. BYU, you are the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness award recipient.

The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.


BIG TEN


Is Michigan even the most disappointing team in the Big Ten anymore? Wisconsin 1) lost to Michigan, 2) is now 0-4 in conference, and 3) has been humiliated by Penn State and Iowa in back-to-back weeks.

Yikes. If the Badgers hadn't replaced Virginia Tech with Cal Poly a few months ago, they would be looking at a major uphill battle to achieve bowl eligibility.

The troops are displeased, obviously, and some of them are even calling for the most sacrilegious thing of all:

Perfect time to change from the 19th century football of run, run, run and punt. 2008 is upon us and it's time to catch up with the rest of college football. Look at all the top teams in the country, they use the spread for a reason.

That's right: some Wisconsin fans want to kill the Beef Machine.

Speaking of Unnecessary Capitalization:

Swiss Cheese and Kool Aid, came to mind when I watched todays game.

Swiss Cheese to name this defense.

Kool Aid for the drink of choice for the people that continued to come on this board and tell us that everyhting is going to be ok. They also were claiming that the Badgers were going to win out and go to a Bowl-- even a Major Bowl. They would shoot down the real people and tell them they didn't know any thing about Football and such.

And then an Eye exam would be needed for these people to help them in what they think they are watching.

Most Badger fans are fairly patient at this point-Wisconsin is coming off back-to-back NYD appearances, after all-but some have gone Off the Reservation.

PAC 10

Cal lost to... uh... Arizona, spurring California Golden Blogs to go with Coping Strategy #543, "pretend you are one of those spectacle-wearing aristocrats who enjoys theater and soccer":

Well, let me tell you, ladies and gents, what a Saturday night I had. After watching the Kansas City Wizards defeat the San Jose soccer team on a very exciting last second goal, I went out for a night on the town.

My wife and I went to go see a delightful bit of modern American theatre, "Souvenir." This post-feminist romp is a can't miss show of non-stop hilarity! Dame Judy Kaye reprises her ever so daring Broadway role that earned her a Tony Award in 2006. She plays Florence Foster Jenkins, a New York socialite and tone-deaf diva who thought she was a great soprano. A New York socialite and tone-deaf diva who thought she was a great soprano?!?! Well, now I've seen *everything*

...including a 28 point third quarter from Arizona, which I remind you is Arizona.

And Washington is back on the docket, losing 34-13 to Oregon State. Dawgman, what gallows humor do you have for us?

Does anyone remember when Willingham holding that finger aloft was kind of ominous? No, just Michigan fans? Okay.

SEC

There were no major upsets in the SEC this week, but Arkansas did contrive to lose a game in which they had the ball at midfield up 13 with five minutes remaining.

Razorback Expats goes with a classic:

Just so we're sure - did the Hogs really lose that game? You know, the one in which they intercepted Mike Hartline at midfield with just over five minutes to go, when they led the Wildcats by 13.

We're going to plow through a few bottles of Prozac.

With our traditional Syracuse Crying Child coming up, this brings our "crying noun" count to two in this TWIS-a new record!

BIG EAST


Syracuse 13, South Florida 45. Cue the crying child:



Later, rinse, repeat.

BONUS: The proprietor of Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician comments!

So help me God if Robinson says he saw some good things today, I will cut out his heart with a spoon.

Since the headlines today aren't filled with headlines like "HIDEOUS SPOON ATTACK IN UPSTATE NEW YORK", Mr. Robinson must have avoided that particular construction.

BIG TWELVE

Missouri got bludgeoned into oblivion by Texas, propelling the Longhorns to a unanimous #1 ranking and Tiger blog Mizzourah to... Canada:

I've been thinking about following hockey. It's a sport I always thought was kind of cool but never put in the necessary effort to learn all its intricacies. I'm sure I'd enjoy it. I've heard it's by far the coolest sport to see in person.

I can vouch for hockey, especially the college variety, but the closest program to you, good sir, is probably Nebraska-Omaha, and that is a hell of a drive.

ACC

Yeah, yeah, Clemson lost again but they're busy figuring out who the new coach is and have pretty much moved on from this year. So we must get a new team in the box. How about Virginia Tech? Gobbler Country is starting up a new Word of the Day feature:

Today's word to describe Virginia Tech's offense is:

Putrid.

Try using it in a sentence!

"If you think Virginia Tech's offense is putrid you haven't been watching Auburn or Michigan." Do I get a gold star?

Dude... no, I do not: Auburn (#107) and Michigan (#108) are smoking Virginia Tech (#110). No gold stars for me.

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