It's Hunter Pence's stolen scooter. But it is now our obsession.
Hours after the San Francisco Giants fan favorite reported his motorized scooter missing, it was found -- all over the Internet, as Pence's stolen ride has become Web gold.
Ahhhh someone stole my scooter! :( — Hunter Pence (@hunterpence) May 26, 2014
Armed with only a description of the purloined item and the scene of the crime -- the EPIC Roasthouse on The Embarcadero, within walking distance from AT&T Park, where Pence parks the two-wheeled machine in an "out-of-the-way" spot -- Pence took to the Internet, for help and for a bit of solace.
Major League Baseball fans and players joined in on the search... in a way. The lost scooter has proved ample fodder for jokes and memes of all kinds.
On Monday, Pence told reporters that he has yet to file a police report and, as of now, bears no ill-will toward the restaurant, city -- or even the thief.
"Apparently someone else needed it more than I do," he said -- though he noted whoever has it won't go very far: the charger for the black scooter, emblazoned with Pence's number 8, is "very rare," he said.