Here are your Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Tony from The Confluence believes there's one significant problem with Washington Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin taking runs at the Pittsburgh Penguins: "No one has retaliated against him. Well, that needs to stop, and stop now." Now, he's not advocating doing something drastic, like maiming Ovechkin or dressing Eric Godard. Just "retaliating." [The Confluence]
• "The interviews had ended, and Alex Ovechkin walked through the crowd in the Caps' dressing room and into the shower area." ESPN column opening line or hockey erotica? You make the call! [ESPN]
• Slamming Versus and the NHL for the television coverage of the Carolina Hurricanes' amazing Game 7 victory over the New Jersey Devils. "Imagine settling in for the second game of an NFL playoff doubleheader only to find out the game won't be shown because the league's granted exclusivity to a regional sports network in, say, Indianapolis." [Buffalo News]
• At 30 years old, isn't about time Roberto Luongo did something with his life? From Damian Cox: "Luongo's two greatest distinctions so far are that he required a bathroom break in the overtime session of a 2007 playoff game and that he served as captain of the Vancouver Canucks this season ..." Ouchy. [Toronto Star]
• We kid the NHL Celebrity Blogs, but comedian Bill Burr's scathing, blissfully unaware take on Carolina fans was brutal and hilarious today. The NHL's going to get letters. Many, many letters. [NHL]
• New York Rangers Coach John Tororella said he regrets throwing a water bottle into the stands in DC, thereby making him more of a standup guy than Glen "They Called My Players Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" Sather. [AP]
• You know, watching Larry Brooks operate during the Rangers/Capitals series was interesting, because he's a reporter that will ask the tough question in a room with an agitated Tortorella. That's admirable; and then he goes and writes the "Rangers will trade for Martin St. Louis or Alexander Radulov" column, and becomes Larry Brooks again. [NY Post]
• Team USA blows a three-goal lead in a loss to Sweden, but the OT charity point was enough to win their group. Backing into the next round ... now that's the American way. [Herald]
• To the shock of onlookers, Sharks Coach Todd McLellan rips off his face to reveal it was George Kingston all along! [AP]
• After adding veterans to the San Jose locker room to help win in the postseason, Sharks GM Doug Wilson wonders whether if would have been better to leave things alone. If you second-guess your own second-guessing, is that, like, fourth-guessing? [BoC]
• Why the Vancouver Canucks will win the Stanley Cup. [Sports and the City]
• While Mike Keenan's future with the Calgary Flames is rightfully being questioned, there shouldn't be any question that the team was absolutely mutilated by the injury bug. So is that enough to give Iron Mike a reprieve for the last year of his contract? [Calgary Herald]
• Or is it time for Darryl Sutter to go behind the bench, fail, and then force total regime change in Calgary? [Globe & Mail]
Finally, Gary Fong on the street before a Vancouver Canucks game. Suddenly, Borat seems nuanced. "Ricing." The authors of the "Gary Fong" video informed us that it was for "editing purposes" and made the clip private. Hopeully we'll bring you the finished product when its made public.
Sorry to waste your time; to make up for it, here's a CJHL fight with some killer Edwardsian announcing. Including a "blood on the ice"/CSI reference.