‘This Is Life Now.' A Year After the Borderline Bar Mass Shooting, Families Reveal How They Move Forward
"It's as if you have your heart ripped out and there's a hole... it will stay that way."
By Heather Navarro ••
It’s been a year since the lives of 12 families were shattered Nov. 7, 2018, when a single gunman opened fire in the crowded Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks. Chuck Henry and Colleen Williams report for the NBC4 News at 4 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 7, 2019.
They wanted to dance.
They wanted to take a break from work or school.
In one of the safest cities in the United States, it didn't seem like a bar they'd have to worry about.
Toni Guinyard/NBCLA
A view of the memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill one year after a shooting during a country music night left 12 victims dead.
Toni Guinyard/NBCLA
A woman visits a memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill one year after a shooting during a country music night left 12 victims dead.
Toni Guinyard/NBCLA
Crosses with photos and personal items are seen outside the Borderline Bar & Grill one year after a shooting during a country music night left 12 victims dead.
Toni Guinyard/NBCLA
A view of the memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill one year after a shooting during a country music night left 12 victims dead.
Toni Guinyard/NBCLA
A view of the memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill one year after a shooting during a country music night left 12 victims dead.
Toni Guinyard/NBCLA
A view of the memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill one year after a shooting during a country music night left 12 victims dead.
Aliya Jasmine/NBCLA
A view of the memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill one year after a shooting during a country music night left 12 victims dead. The oak trees were planted to symbolize strength and deep roots.
Alija Jasmine/NBCLA
A group of women visit a memorial at the Borderline Bar & Grill, where a shooting left 13 people dead, including the gunman.
Alija Jasmine/NBCLA
A group of women visit a memorial at the Borderline Bar & Grill, where a shooting left 13 people dead, including the gunman.
Alija Jasmine/NBCLA
A sign outside the Borderline Bar & Grill remembers those who were killed in a shooting there one year ago.
Alija Jasmine/NBCLA
A woman and her children kneel at the Borderline Bar & Grill memorial, which was established in honor of the 12 killed during the shooting there last year.
Alija Jasmine/NBCLA
A woman and her daughter visit the memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill, where a gunman killed 12 people last year.
Alija Jasmine/NBCLA
A woman and her daughter visit the memorial outside the Borderline Bar & Grill, where a gunman killed 12 people last year.
Alija Jasmine/NBCLA
A woman and her children visit a line of signs outside the Borderline Bar & Grill, each of which bears the name and picture of one of the 12 people killed in the shooting last year.
It's been a year since the lives of 12 families were shattered Nov. 7, 2018, when a Marine combat veteran of the war in Afghanistan opened fire in the crowded Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks.
Twelve people were killed, and then the gunman killed himself.
Those who lived, 248 survivors, would have to learn how to move on from the tragedy and chaos in the year that followed.
"It's as if you have your heart ripped out and there's a hole... it will stay that way," Susan Orfanos, mother of victim Telemachus, said.
NBC Bay Area
Victims of the Borderline Bar shooting in Thousand Oaks, Nov. 7, 2018.
CSNPhilly.com
Sgt. Ronald Lee Helus was killed while responding to the Borderline Bar & Grill mass shooting that left 12 victims dead Nov. 7, 2018.nFamilies were frantically searching for those unaccounted for as the identities of victims emerged in the aftermath of the Borderline Bar & Grill shooting Wednesday evening in Ventura County, the deadliest mass shooting since Parkland. n nA 29-year veteran of law enforcement pictured above who ran toward the danger when dispatched to the mass shooting, as well as a 22-year-old son awaiting the birth of his baby sister, were confirmed to have been killed in the tragedy.n nTwelve victims in all were killed in the shooting. n nLearn more about the victims below.n
Helus Family
The sergeant received a call from his wife before responding to the mass shooting at Borderline Bar in Thousand Oaks. He told her he needed to respond to a call, and would see her later. He was killed in the mass shooting.
Ventura County Sheriff's Department
He was a 29-year law enforcement veteran. Ventura County Sheriff's Department officials said they weren't surprised to hear he ran toward the danger.
Orfanos Family
Telemachus Orfanos, a Navy veteran who survived the Route 91 massacre in Las Vegas, was killed in the mass shooting at Borderline Bar, his father told NBC4.
Daniel, a military veteran, spent his life helping veterans, as a member of Team Red White Blue. He was at Borderline meeting other members of the group. He had no wife or children. "Daniel was such a go-getter. He was absolutely loved."
Coffman Family
"Cody was the big brother that my kids need. I have a daughter coming on the 29th of this month. He was so excited to have his first sister," Jason Coffman, the father of Cody Coffman, 22, said. He announced Thursday, Nov. 8, 2018, that his son was slain in the mass shooting at Borderline Bar in Thousand Oaks the night before.
Courtesy of Facebook
Courtesy of Facebook
Eighteen-year-old Pepperdine freshman Alaina Housley, the niece of actress Tamera Mowry-Housley, was killed in Borderline Bar mass shooting last night, her family confirmed. Housley's uncle, former Fox News correspondent Adam Housley and the actress were pleading with the public to help find the 18-year-old before they learned of her death.
Courtesy of Facebook
Justin Meek, a 23-year-old Cal Lutheran University graduate and former San Diego resident, was slain in the Borderline Bar mass shooting Nov. 7, 2018.nn
Adler Family
Sean Adler was a husband the father of two boys. He owned a local coffee shop and was working at the Borderline Bar & Grill Nov. 7, 2018 when he was killed by a gunman along with 11 others. "From what I understand, Sean tried to disarm the guy. That is typical of Sean. He was a protector, always sticking up for people. He was a caring, compassionate individual," his sister Valarie Adler told NBC4.
Blake Dingman was slain in the Borderline Bar shooting Wednesday evening, Nov. 7, 2018.
KECI
Jake Dunham was slain in the Borderline Bar shooting Wednesday evening, Nov. 7, 2018. His father Jeff Dunham was searching for him at 2 a.m. before the news had emerged of his death.
Courtesy Sparks Family
Twenty-one-year-old Noel Sparks studied at Moorpark College. Her death was confirmed by her church, the United Methodist Church Westlake Village.
KMGH via AP
Kristina Kaylee Morisette attended Simi Valley High School, and was from Simi Valley. She loved country music. Her cousin confirmed to NBC that she was killed in the shooting.
Mark Meza Jr. was confirmed to be the twelfth victim slain in the mass shooting. He was a Santa Barbara native who was an alum of the Carpinteria Unified School District, NBC affiliate KSBY learned. He had been working at Borderline Bar the night of the shooting.
"We're still grieving," Jason Coffman said, whose son Cody was slain. "There's a lot of people who haven't come to cope with it yet. Then there's people like myself who have come to realize this is life now. This is the way it's got to be."
As the sun rose on the foggy morning of Nov. 7, 2019, mourners gathered at the Borderline Bar & Grill where a shrine to each life lost was adorned with flowers, art, plants and crosses.
"It’s a day we never want to repeat but one we never want to forget," said Mayor Rob McCoy, who hadn't set foot on the property since the attack.
Jason Coffman emerged as one of the faces of a grief-wracked family member, first searching for his son, then announcing to the public on live television that he was indeed killed in the Borderline Bar mass shooting in Thousand Oaks. A year later, Jason remembers his son. Robert Kovacik reports for the NBC4 News at 5 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 7, 2019.
"Our community was shattered here," he said.
Many affected by the shooting have noted they didn't have a chance to mourn, as a destructive wildfire erupted more than a dozen hours after the massacre.
"We didn’t have a chance to mourn. We did the vigil that evening and when I came back I was evacuated from my own house," McCoy said.
As the gunman entered the bar at 11:15 p.m. PT Nov. 7 , 2018, dressed in all black and armed to the teeth, chaos ensued. Patrons who had just been line-dancing began hurling bar stools through windows to escape.
Reports said they believe the gunman even fired on victims in bathroom stalls as they tried to flee.
Karen Helus recounts when her husband, who died during the shooting at the Borderline Bar & Grill last year, responded to the call for service. John Cádiz Klemack reports for the NBC4 News at 5 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 7, 2019.
First responders and victims charged the gunman in a last-ditch courageous effort to halt the barrage of bullets.
Ventura County Sheriff's Sgt. Ron Helus, a 29-year veteran who was soon to retire, was among those who ran toward the threat.
Telemachus Orfanos had survived the Route 91 mass shooting in Las Vegas the year before. But he wouldn't survive this one.
"My son came home. All those other people they can't say that," his mother Susan said of Vegas. "Thirteen months and six days later, Tel didn't come home."
Kristina Morisette greeted patrons at the Borderline Bar.
As her parents mourn a year later, they encourage others to seek support. Mental health experts agree, saying the anniversary can sneak up on the community.
"Line dancing in different people's backyards" is how one patron heals the Borderline way. Robert Kovacik reports for the NBC4 News at 11 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 7, 2019.
"They felt like 'Oh, I didn't need it,' but now that the one-year mark is coming up, they're really feeling the effects of it," said Kirsti Thompson, director of Give an Hour California.
It's unclear why the former machine gunner committed this atrocity.
"People will debate for years whether I’m sane or insane," his social media posts prior to the attack read, paraphrased by sources close to the investigation.
"Not a day goes by that we do not think about our friends and family who we have lost. This past year has been extremely difficult for all of us as a community, but together we have helped each other move forward and continue our healing process one day at a time. After that tragic night last November our Borderline family became stronger and closer than ever before," Borderline Bar & Grill staff said in a note posted to the website.
We're following the families' stories and checking in with them a year later, to hear about the struggles, kindness of strangers, and what life is like now.
A mother and father remember their son who was killed in the Borderline Bar & Grill shooting. Hetty Chang reports for the NBC4 News at 5:15 p.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 5, 2019.
THOUSAND OAKS, CA - NOVEMBER 08: Mourners cry and comfort each other during a vigil for the victims of the mass shooting at the Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza on November 8, 2018 in Thousand Oaks, California. Twelve people including a Ventura County Sheriff sergeant and the gunman died in the mass shooting at Borderline Bar and Grill . (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)
Two friends who survived the Borderline Shooting remember those they lost in the shooting and share what they've learned. Hetty Chang reports for the NBC4 News at 4 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2019.
