Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch at home while you start getting ready for the 2012 election. What’s that? The 2010 election just ended? We should rest for second and see if these new leaders accomplish anything? Pfft. You fool. These new guys are bums. I want change, and I want it right now. LET’S GO!
CIRCUS – 9:00PM (PBS) No, it’s not a retrospective of the venerable 80’s heavy metal magazine, though I wish it were. This PBS docuseries takes a look at life with the performers in the Big Apple Circus. That’s right. It’s two hours of hot carny action! Be there as the bearded lady grooms her beard! And the two-headed man puts on his second head! Learn what ELSE an elephant will do for a peanut! ANTICIPATION: THE GREATEST DOCUMENTARY ON EARTH!
SECRETS OF THE DEAD – 8:00PM (PBS) A PBS double whammy! Tonight is also the season premiere of their archaeology series, which totally needs more snakepits and evil Nazis. Tonight, you’ll explore the tomb of pharaoh Psusennes I, who totally would have been more famous if he had gone by the name King Sue. What secrets will they find within the tomb? And who the heck left this Tootsie Pop wrapper in the sarcophagus? THE PHARAOH IS NOT YOUR TRASH CAN, JIMMY! ANTICIPATION: STILL DEAD!
BIOGRAPHY – 9:00PM (Biography Channel) Profiled tonight: all of the captains on Star Trek. Yes, Trekkies. Learn what drove a young Iowa farmboy to become James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise. And then take great issue with the special’s accuracy, given what you saw in Star Trek episode #TS408 and knowing the alternate history JJ Abrams provided in his entertaining (but clearly heretical!) film remake. Then file a formal complaint to the estate of Gene Roddenberry. You’ll have a ball. ANTICIPATION: NERDY!
MY DEADLY APPETITE – 10:00PM (Discovery Health) A young boy suffers from Parder-Willi Syndrome, which leaves him feeling starved all the time. I’m all but certain I have this disease. I’d explain why, but I’ll freakin’ kill someone if I don’t get my hands on a plate of nachos. ANTICIPATION: YUMMY!
IN THE SPOTLIGHT WITH ROBIN ROBERTS: ALL ACCESS NASHVILLE – 10:00PM (ABC) The ABC reporter sits down with Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, and LeAnn Rimes. Gee, I wonder why she might sit down with LeAnn Rimes? Might it be because… she done stole another woman’s man?! Carrie Underwood would totally slug her if she saw her in person. ANTICIPATION: COUNTRY!