Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and burn the microfiche. LET’S GO!
THE APPRENTICE – 9:00PM (NBC) It’s the tenth season of Donald Trump’s reality show, and this time all 16 contestants are people who have been hit hard by the recession and hope to revive their careers by getting a job with the Donald. This is a very sweet idea, until you realize that fifteen of these people will have to suffer the trauma and indignity of being fired all over again, and this time on national television. Maybe they’ll fight back, like the people in “Up In The Air.” That would be cool. Unless they fight back by jumping off a bridge, which would not be so cool. Tonight, the peons have to create modern day workspaces, which sounds more like a task for “Top Design,” but whatever. We’ll find out who keeps 500 soy sauce packets in their office desk and who doesn’t. The latter will surely have a leg up. ANTICIPATION: YOOGE!
IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA – 10:00PM (FX) Another season premiere. FX’s masterfully dirty comedy returns for another season of unabashed nihilism. This time, Mac fights against gay marriage, no doubt for purely selfish and irrelevant reasons. It’s a brilliant show, people. Don’t hop on the bandwagon late, like I did. The season premiere of “The League” comes immediately after. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
THE FENCE – 8:00PM (HBO) Would you like there to be a wall between the United States and Mexico to keep out those pesky immigrants who will help install drywall in your basement for mere pennies on the dollar? Well sir, you’re in luck. Because a third of that wall has already been built, 700 miles long. This HBO doc explores the social and environmental ramifications of that wall on both sides of the border, from law enforcement to human smugglers. It could change your mind about things. Or not. People with strong political opinions tend to ignore compelling arguments contrary to their worldview. This is why I don’t vote. ANTICIPATION: CONTROVERSY!
ATLANTIC CITY HOOKERS – 11:00PM (HBO) Prepare yourself for the premiere of Martin Scorsese’s “Boardwalk Empire” by checking out this late night doc about prostitutes on the Jersey boardwalk. It’s a serious documentary that you will almost certainly use for porn purposes. HBO knows this, I assure you. Don’t feel bad about it. ANTICIPATION: CHEAP LOVIN’!
PROJECT RUNWAY – 10:00PM (Lifetime) January Jones takes a break from crashing her car to be a guest judge for tonight’s sportswear competition. I’m very sad that Casanova got booted last week, especially since the judges had the chance to toss out Ivy, who is horrible and petty and whom I do not like. Alas. Ivy lives on. And how about Michael C. and Mondo instantly becoming BFF’s? Didn’t see that coming. That shot of them with their arms around each other on the runway might be the funniest thing I see all year. ANTICIPATION: EVIL GRETCHEN STRIKES!