Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and clean the grill. Just kidding. No one cleans their grill. The hot fire will burn the dirt away! LET’S GO!
NBA FINALS, GAME 1 – 9:02PM (ABC) Last July, LeBron James made himself Public Enemy #1 by openly ditching his hometown team on national TV. Now he gets a chance to prove that he made the right choice as his Miami Heat take on the Dallas Mavericks for the NBA title. Keep in mind that LeBron has been to the Finals before with Cleveland and come up short, so just because he’s made it here doesn’t mean he’s already been vindicated. In fact, the Mavericks are no slouches themselves, what with Dirk Nowitzki balling out of his mind right now. The series will hinge on whether or not Dallas will able to make these high-scoring affairs, or if the Heat’s defense will slow everything down to a crawl. I really hope the latter doesn’t happen. Jimmy Kimmel is on at 8 o’clock for his annual “Game Night” pregame show. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
MILLION DOLLAR DECORATORS – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Bravo’s new reality series tails five interior decorators in Beverly Hills as they argue with filthy rich people about where the wagon wheel coffee table should go. Tonight’s episode features a guest house renovation that is endangered by a couple’s divorce. And really, you hate to see something like that happen. I wish more couples would stay together for the sake of the guest house. ANTICIPATION: FANCYPANTS!
LOVE HANDLES: COUPLES IN CRISIS – 10:00PM (Lifetime) Lifetime’s newest reality offering profiles overweight couple who battle both weight issues and the relationship complications that are a direct result of their obesity. Like “Biggest Loser: Couples,” only way depressing. Tonight premiere episode is called, and I swear this is true, “I Never Planned On Marrying A Fat Girl.” Does Lifetime even LIKE women? ANTICIPATION: SAD!
DECEPTION WITH KEITH BARRY – 10:00PM (Discovery) Discovery also has a new show premiering tonight, this one featuring Keith Barry, a trained Navy SEAL chef who teaches you how to make desserts that look like the faces of famous people. Just kidding. It’s not about that at all. It’s about deception, which I just pulled off effortlessly. ANTICIPATION: NOT A REAL SHOW, OR IS IT?!!
AMERICA’S GOT TALENT – 8:00PM (NBC) Sixth season premiere. Watch as a bunch of jugglers and child singers prove the show’s title unfounded. ANTICIPATION: TALENTY!