Stanford Band Performs Before, Not During

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    NEWSLETTERS

    tusb.stanford.edu

    Fearing an en masse pants drop, or just wanting to protect their newest celeb athlete, LeBron James, from OJ Simpson-style mockery, the Orange Bowl administrators have decided to keep the bawdy Stanford Band from performing at halftime are keeping with tradition, keeping the bands' performances before the game. Halftime is reserved for a high-production musical act.

    For more than 40 years the Stanford Marching Unit Team, or SMUT, has been providing scandal for the NCAA. For OJ, the band pulled out a white van covered in bloody handprints. Also in LA, they spoofed the USC alum who started Girls Gone Wild when their announcer said, "It takes a special kind of man to be wanted for sexual harassment, drug trafficking, tax evasion, prostitution, child abuse and disruptive flatulence."

    Hilarity? It continues.

    * During a game with Notre Dame the Band's show was entitled "The Irish, Why Must They Fight?" Using a crucifix as a baton got them banned from the campus.

    * Oregon also banned them from performing. Not the University of Oregon ... the entire state. That was over the spotted owl environmentalists vs timber industry. (In fairness, the Cardinal mascot is The Tree, so what did they expect?)

    * In 1970, in Arkansas, they dropped trousers, as a unit, at halftime.

    Denying the Stanford Band a stage also denies Virginia Tech one. The Orange Bowl will only allow the teams' bands to perform in six-minute bursts before kickoff.

    The Band's show is entitled "Recent Events in the Pro Sports World in Miami."

    Whose talents could possibly be targeted, er, featured?