Raider Loses Pants in Win

By JOE KUKURA

Updated 2:15 PM PDT, Mon, Dec 21, 2009

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Anyone who watched the Oakland Raiders' 20-19 win over the Broncos Sunday might tell you that the Raiders really exposed some flaws in the Broncos' game plan.

But they are probably more eager to tell you about how Raiders' defensive tackle Tommy Kelly exposed himself with a full frontal de-pantsing on live TV.

During a critical 4th quarter, second-and-goal play deep in the Raiders' red zone, the Broncos were on the verge of a touchdown that might have put the game away. But the Raiders "manned up" on the next play in more ways than one.

Knowshon Moreno took a hand off just beyond the 2-yard line, and was immediately dropped for a loss by Kelly and Tyvon Branch. When Kelly got up from making the sensational tackle, he found his pants at his knees and himself showing a national television audience the little black jock strap with which he wraps his rascal.

It's a shame that Raiders gay bar just closed, because this play would have gone over like gangbusters.

The humor-challenged CBS broadcast team of Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker was caught off guard, and could not manage any memorable quips, one-liners, or boners. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, followed by "Whoa! Whoops! Whoooo!"

"Giving it up for the team, I guess!," was the best analyst Steve Tasker could do.

"I've never seen that!" exclaimed play-by-play guy Gus Johnson. Suuuuure you haven't, Gus, suuuure you haven't.

The Raiders, now 5-9, have caused some serious concerns for the Bronocos' playoff plans. And Tommy Kelly may be causing some serious concerns for the Lingerie Football League.

Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who has new found respect for Tommy Kelly since discovering he wears a team-colored jock strap.