Say hello to Dan, your new overlord. As of yesterday afternoon, he is the new Mayor of Dolores Park Cafe -- according to Foursquare, the location-tracking service that awards these titles based on who logs their visits online the most frequently. Dan replaces incumbent wilsonminer, whose reign was marred by such abuse-of-power accusations as forgetting to return the bathroom key and ordering a sandwich that was, according to opposition leaders, "smelly."
Following the announcement, there was immediate rejoicing and pledging of fealty amongst the community on Foursquare. Meanwhile, many observers expect Dan to formally announce reconciliation talks later this week with Mayor of the nearby Bi-Rite Market, Wilson M., who has mysteriously never been photographed with former Dolores Park Cafe Mayor Wilsonminor.