TikTok

Don't use this viral TikTok relationship test, expert says: ‘It's not a red flag if your partner doesn't peel an orange'

Take the results of the test with a grain of salt, says Rachel DeAlto, relationship and communication expert at Match Group and The League

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On TikTok, the hashtag #orangepeeltheory has more than 47 million views. The viral phenomenon has nothing to do with the citrus fruit. It refers to a relationship "test" many couples are using to gauge the strength of their partnership.

The challenge calls for participants to ask their partner to peel an orange for them. If their significant other says yes, that means they are willing to help with small tasks. If they say no, it might signal they are less likely to offer support throughout the relationship, the theory suggests. 

Take the results of the test with a grain of salt, says Rachel DeAlto, relationship and communication expert at Match Group and The League

"It's not a red flag if your partner doesn't peel an orange," she says. "However, if they consistently fail to do little things that show consideration for you, or they respond negatively to your requests for help, it may indicate larger issues for you to reconsider." 

There is 'some validity' to the test

If someone refuses to assist you with a daily task, it might signal that they'd be unwilling to help you through larger challenges, says Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver.

"The way that people do small things tends to be a holographic microcosm of how they did big things," she says.

Like DeAlto, Bobby still wouldn't assign too much value to the results of this test.

"I would not make sweeping judgments about how a person peels an orange for you," she says. "There is possibly some validity [to the test], but make sure that it is not the only data point you are evaluating."

'I am not a fan of tests'

Generally, DeAlto says, creating little hurdles like this can do more harm than good. 

"I am not a fan of tests," she says. "They are designed to instigate insecurity." 

Instead of asking your partner to peel an orange, focus on some deeper factors.

"Relationships are complex and the strength of a partnership is better assessed by looking at deeper factors like ability to communicate, trust, respect, and vulnerability," she says. 

In lieu of asking them to peel an orange, ask yourself questions like "Are they patient?", "Do they make me feel safe and cared for?", "How well do they listen and support me?" 

"Day-to-day dynamics are the most revealing to the strength of your relationship with your partner," DeAlto says.

You can also sit down and have a straightforward conversation with your partner about their future plans.

Successful couples usually have the following values in common, DeAlto says: 

  • Finances: They agree on how they want to spend their money.
  • Family: There is a shared vision for how they plan to create a family or care for their own family.
  • Lifestyle: They enjoy putting time into the same activities, like travel or exercising. 

Finding out if you align on these can help you decipher whether your relationship has long term viability — more so than peeling an orange.

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